I feel like such a slacker. I haven't written since July!! :O
Well I actually have an interesting topic for this one. Well it's interesting to me anyway because it's relevant to my life.
Marriage.
Has anyone but me noticed the decline in lasting marriages?
I think there are several contributing factors.
First is the sad fact that many couples lose sight of the young love they once had. Life comes along and hits you like a ton of bricks and you get so caught up in paying bills, taking care of kids, working, house chores, etc etc that you have no more time to be spontanious and romantic or barely even talk. This helps nothing. I understand that it's a part of life but its very important to have couple time too. Babysitters = Best friends.
Along with this, after so much stress you start to feel like the relationship itself is the problem. Hello. No. This used to work and it doesn't now so something changed. Could it possibly be all those life issues mentioned before? Nooo.*gasp*
Love is not a chore. It should never be treated like one. If your love is starting to feel like a burden, something needs to change. I suggest time for reconnecting. And this doesn't have to mean spending absorbant ammounts of money. Honestly, girls don't always need money like so many people think. (Though i will admit, there are those superficial, snobby, needy girls too.....)
Built a fort in the living room and have a late-night picnic after the kids are asleep. Pick a Saturday and have someone watch the kids for a couple hours while you go to the park and cloud watch or walk. Pick a book to read together in bed after the kids are asleep.
Simple, fun, INEXPENSIVE ways to bond and enjoy each other's company.
Another problem in many of today's marriages is that the kids become priority one. Children need to be nurrtured and cared for, duh. But your spouse should ALWAYS come first. It was designed that way in the very beginning. There weren't kids then marriage. It takes the man and woman to have kids (sorry if that's news... I'll try to keep the birds and the bees out of this ;) )
so your spouse should always be the number one priority. Obviously if they go psycho and start carrying around a chainsaw and saying "wanna play a game?" there could be some issues... So yes, protect your children, but they should never overrule or become more important that him/her.
Problemo Tres... or four... whatever:
LOVE LANGUAGES.
Everyone's are different. Take my mom for example. She feels special when she has time to really bond with you. Movies are fun for her but she'd rather talk and spend quality time or go to a museum or something. My dad likes sitting at home and listening to good music and cuddling or just enjoying the atmosphere together. Mom likes sappy stuff, Dad isn't sappy. Girls and guys, spaghetti and waffles. We're different. The thing is, both parties have to be willing to give and take. It can't always be about going to fancy dinners and Celine Dion concerts, and the husband can't ALWAYS get to sit home and watch football either. You need to understand each other's love languages, the little things they do to show you they care, and what makes them feel really special.
And the "falling out of love" excuse? Not gonna lie. I think that's total CRAP.
If you're meant to be together, (No I don't think there has to be JUST ONE person in all of God's green earth for each of us, but i do think he has several compatible people that He has set aside for us to choose from), then you can always make it work. But here's the shocker,
You're actually gonna have to TRY.
"That's what we do we fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant S.O.B. I tell you when you're being a pain in the a**...I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings, you have a two second rebound rate. Then you're back doing the next pain in the a** thing. So I'm saying it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're going to have to work at this every day but I'm willing to do that because I want you. I want all of you, every day, forever. You and me, forever."
Yeah, that's right, I did just quote the notebook. But it's so true...
Fighting is what we do.
It's part of life.
But if some fights are going to scare you away, if you're not willing to go through hell and back for the person you love then you don't love them. At least not enough to marry them. Marriage is a battle but it's also heaven on earth if you both are willing to take the bad with the good.
"Through thick and thin and pitchin' in even when the times get tough."
For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.
Marriage isn't a game. It's FOREVER. And if you can't handle that, then I hate to break it to you, (actually I really don't mind it at all,) then you probably shouldn't be getting, or have gotten married.
Anywho :)
My rant...
I'm tired!!!
