Well.
Things have been going a lot better. I went through a few sessions of therapy
I still feel so weird saying that. I always swore I'd never do that but once I did it helped and made me realize a LOT of things. Anyway.
Those weeks were hard because she ended up digging up a ton of painful events from the when i was a kid and even the recent past. But i've noticed that my anxiety is mostly gone, no more panic attacks or obsessive thinking. Part of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is obsessing over a certain line of thoughts all day long. For me it's usually fears or painful memories that my mind chooses to focus on and this can bring panic attacks and make me miserable. Dealing with that took retraining my mind but i rarely do anymore and i'm much happier now.
The band and I just started officially recording and i'm SO excited :) All we need now is a vocal processor. Anyone got one?? eh?? EH?? XD
I always laugh when people ask me what our style is.... We all love varieties of music so.... I'm not really ever sure what to answer....
I started beauty school and absolutely LOVE it!!! I'm learning the proper way to cut hair, I'm learning how to give microderm abrasions, i'll be doing chemical peels, hair coloring, nails, skin, so so much!
Also i found my next hair style so i'm excited to get that done next thursday.
It's a little draining to only have one day off in a week. and even then, my day is always filled with millions of things to do. but i'll live. :)
Let's see....
Well tonight i'm going on a date :)
Dinner and a movie:) I'm excited.
Other than that i think that's about it...
I had this really awesome idea for a blog...then i forgot....
hey what else is new ;)
See you kiddies later :)
Tip your waitresses, say hi when a cashier greets you, and don't leave a mess.
talk to strangers x)
F&A
Oh yeah! side track. anyone heard of the abduction of that little ten year old girl???
They found a body in an old mine i guess and a canine unit identifed a car parked in a Walmart parking lot as having been to that mine and it was also concluded that the girl had been in the car but no one has released the identity of the body yet.... as far as i've heard...
I'm seriously disgusted. Ok is it not enough to RAPE a ten year old girl? She could recover from that, hopefully but they have to kill her too?? It's sick!!! i'd LOVE to get my hands on that bag of crap and beat him senseless.... then hand him over to the angry mob waiting to do the same... ha.
Oh yeah ANOTHER thing.
So at the coffee shop by my work... some creepy 30 something barista was hitting on me and complimenting me left and right and he carded me when i have the signature on back and nobody there EVER cards me... what the heck... gross. get some class.
and right after that i was walking back to school when out of NOWHERE, i swear it was like the voice of God, (except i'd like to think God wouldn't say this to me..... I think we're on decent terms Him and me....) I hear this voice screeching "YOU LOOK LIKE A DUMB B****"
Um... well i'm aware that not everybody has the same fashion sense but I wasn't wearing anything crazy, just black panst, boots, a cute tank under a long, thin sweater... So thanks but um....
I turned around ready to throw down with someone but i noticed a girl from school walking toward me and thought better of it. Good thing, too because later i found out that it wasn't the tool in the car next to me like i'd thought. It was so hobo on a bike! Nice. Sooooo here I am holding the keys to my own car while you're hoofin it around in the winter air on a BIKE.... um.... either you're a crazy green hobo or you're too broke to get a car for yourself and I'M the dumb b****?? yeaaah.
The whole rest of the day i was just so on edge. It's not like i was really offended, i mean it's downtown loveland... that's not exactly something new. but i mean who does that?! I had so much adrenaline ready to start a fight and since i couldn't.. it just basically lasted the whole day. I'm sure all of my customers were like "what is wroooong with this woman.... wow..." haha
So please, don't hit on people 20 years your junior... and don't be stupid. that's all.
:)
Ok now i'm really going i swear.
Bya!!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Marriage. The real kind.
I feel like such a slacker. I haven't written since July!! :O
Well I actually have an interesting topic for this one. Well it's interesting to me anyway because it's relevant to my life.
Marriage.
Has anyone but me noticed the decline in lasting marriages?
I think there are several contributing factors.
First is the sad fact that many couples lose sight of the young love they once had. Life comes along and hits you like a ton of bricks and you get so caught up in paying bills, taking care of kids, working, house chores, etc etc that you have no more time to be spontanious and romantic or barely even talk. This helps nothing. I understand that it's a part of life but its very important to have couple time too. Babysitters = Best friends.
Along with this, after so much stress you start to feel like the relationship itself is the problem. Hello. No. This used to work and it doesn't now so something changed. Could it possibly be all those life issues mentioned before? Nooo.*gasp*
Love is not a chore. It should never be treated like one. If your love is starting to feel like a burden, something needs to change. I suggest time for reconnecting. And this doesn't have to mean spending absorbant ammounts of money. Honestly, girls don't always need money like so many people think. (Though i will admit, there are those superficial, snobby, needy girls too.....)
Built a fort in the living room and have a late-night picnic after the kids are asleep. Pick a Saturday and have someone watch the kids for a couple hours while you go to the park and cloud watch or walk. Pick a book to read together in bed after the kids are asleep.
Simple, fun, INEXPENSIVE ways to bond and enjoy each other's company.
Another problem in many of today's marriages is that the kids become priority one. Children need to be nurrtured and cared for, duh. But your spouse should ALWAYS come first. It was designed that way in the very beginning. There weren't kids then marriage. It takes the man and woman to have kids (sorry if that's news... I'll try to keep the birds and the bees out of this ;) )
so your spouse should always be the number one priority. Obviously if they go psycho and start carrying around a chainsaw and saying "wanna play a game?" there could be some issues... So yes, protect your children, but they should never overrule or become more important that him/her.
Problemo Tres... or four... whatever:
LOVE LANGUAGES.
Everyone's are different. Take my mom for example. She feels special when she has time to really bond with you. Movies are fun for her but she'd rather talk and spend quality time or go to a museum or something. My dad likes sitting at home and listening to good music and cuddling or just enjoying the atmosphere together. Mom likes sappy stuff, Dad isn't sappy. Girls and guys, spaghetti and waffles. We're different. The thing is, both parties have to be willing to give and take. It can't always be about going to fancy dinners and Celine Dion concerts, and the husband can't ALWAYS get to sit home and watch football either. You need to understand each other's love languages, the little things they do to show you they care, and what makes them feel really special.
And the "falling out of love" excuse? Not gonna lie. I think that's total CRAP.
If you're meant to be together, (No I don't think there has to be JUST ONE person in all of God's green earth for each of us, but i do think he has several compatible people that He has set aside for us to choose from), then you can always make it work. But here's the shocker,
You're actually gonna have to TRY.
"That's what we do we fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant S.O.B. I tell you when you're being a pain in the a**...I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings, you have a two second rebound rate. Then you're back doing the next pain in the a** thing. So I'm saying it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're going to have to work at this every day but I'm willing to do that because I want you. I want all of you, every day, forever. You and me, forever."
Yeah, that's right, I did just quote the notebook. But it's so true...
Fighting is what we do.
It's part of life.
But if some fights are going to scare you away, if you're not willing to go through hell and back for the person you love then you don't love them. At least not enough to marry them. Marriage is a battle but it's also heaven on earth if you both are willing to take the bad with the good.
"Through thick and thin and pitchin' in even when the times get tough."
For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.
Marriage isn't a game. It's FOREVER. And if you can't handle that, then I hate to break it to you, (actually I really don't mind it at all,) then you probably shouldn't be getting, or have gotten married.
Anywho :)
My rant...
I'm tired!!!
Well I actually have an interesting topic for this one. Well it's interesting to me anyway because it's relevant to my life.
Marriage.
Has anyone but me noticed the decline in lasting marriages?
I think there are several contributing factors.
First is the sad fact that many couples lose sight of the young love they once had. Life comes along and hits you like a ton of bricks and you get so caught up in paying bills, taking care of kids, working, house chores, etc etc that you have no more time to be spontanious and romantic or barely even talk. This helps nothing. I understand that it's a part of life but its very important to have couple time too. Babysitters = Best friends.
Along with this, after so much stress you start to feel like the relationship itself is the problem. Hello. No. This used to work and it doesn't now so something changed. Could it possibly be all those life issues mentioned before? Nooo.*gasp*
Love is not a chore. It should never be treated like one. If your love is starting to feel like a burden, something needs to change. I suggest time for reconnecting. And this doesn't have to mean spending absorbant ammounts of money. Honestly, girls don't always need money like so many people think. (Though i will admit, there are those superficial, snobby, needy girls too.....)
Built a fort in the living room and have a late-night picnic after the kids are asleep. Pick a Saturday and have someone watch the kids for a couple hours while you go to the park and cloud watch or walk. Pick a book to read together in bed after the kids are asleep.
Simple, fun, INEXPENSIVE ways to bond and enjoy each other's company.
Another problem in many of today's marriages is that the kids become priority one. Children need to be nurrtured and cared for, duh. But your spouse should ALWAYS come first. It was designed that way in the very beginning. There weren't kids then marriage. It takes the man and woman to have kids (sorry if that's news... I'll try to keep the birds and the bees out of this ;) )
so your spouse should always be the number one priority. Obviously if they go psycho and start carrying around a chainsaw and saying "wanna play a game?" there could be some issues... So yes, protect your children, but they should never overrule or become more important that him/her.
Problemo Tres... or four... whatever:
LOVE LANGUAGES.
Everyone's are different. Take my mom for example. She feels special when she has time to really bond with you. Movies are fun for her but she'd rather talk and spend quality time or go to a museum or something. My dad likes sitting at home and listening to good music and cuddling or just enjoying the atmosphere together. Mom likes sappy stuff, Dad isn't sappy. Girls and guys, spaghetti and waffles. We're different. The thing is, both parties have to be willing to give and take. It can't always be about going to fancy dinners and Celine Dion concerts, and the husband can't ALWAYS get to sit home and watch football either. You need to understand each other's love languages, the little things they do to show you they care, and what makes them feel really special.
And the "falling out of love" excuse? Not gonna lie. I think that's total CRAP.
If you're meant to be together, (No I don't think there has to be JUST ONE person in all of God's green earth for each of us, but i do think he has several compatible people that He has set aside for us to choose from), then you can always make it work. But here's the shocker,
You're actually gonna have to TRY.
"That's what we do we fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant S.O.B. I tell you when you're being a pain in the a**...I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings, you have a two second rebound rate. Then you're back doing the next pain in the a** thing. So I'm saying it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're going to have to work at this every day but I'm willing to do that because I want you. I want all of you, every day, forever. You and me, forever."
Yeah, that's right, I did just quote the notebook. But it's so true...
Fighting is what we do.
It's part of life.
But if some fights are going to scare you away, if you're not willing to go through hell and back for the person you love then you don't love them. At least not enough to marry them. Marriage is a battle but it's also heaven on earth if you both are willing to take the bad with the good.
"Through thick and thin and pitchin' in even when the times get tough."
For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.
Marriage isn't a game. It's FOREVER. And if you can't handle that, then I hate to break it to you, (actually I really don't mind it at all,) then you probably shouldn't be getting, or have gotten married.
Anywho :)
My rant...
I'm tired!!!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Innocence
"What happened to me
The girl in the mirror
The one with the innocence
She screams but no one hears her
The one with a broken heart
She tried not to hurt
Now she's in the dark
> both of those are vocals
I'm lookin for my innocence
Don't know why it went and where it's been
But I think it's got somethin to do with memory
And memory's got somethin to do with you... and me
...
Rapping begins
I don't know when i lost it but i think it was with you
when i gave you my heart too early too soon
somethin happened and im not real sure
do i stay or walk out that door?
And now i find my innocence is gone
just like the night turns into dawn
I tried to stop you but i guess you didn't hear
the seriousness in my voice and the smell of fear
Now we're grown up from experience and pain
way before our time it's not even sane
Never meant to hurt or do anything
but i gotta accept that such are my chains
my heart was given way before its time
so be careful with yours, don't waste it like mine
shouldn't have lost it cause it caused me this
and now iv'e lost my innocence."
^ Snippets of a song I wrote. It's actually a rap...which is weird considering i'm usually a country or light metal girl....
But the lyrics seemed to be sticking in my head so hey.
I've been doing some thinking.
I practically got nothin' but time on my hands so hey, why not.
Besides. It's when you're bored or trying to sleep/relax that all of the secrets of the world start to bang on your door and beg for answers. -.-
But during my... meditation ( :P )
I realized that you don't have to be assaulted, or do something bad to lose your innocence. Being hurt, watching those you love be hurt...
Pain can steal innocence. You realize that the world is so much more "Big and Bad" than the big land where dreams come true that you see as a child. When you come to realize this, a part of your innocence is stripped away as you no longer trust like the child you were. You no longer give trust, friendship, favors, love as freely as you did when you saw everyone as a friend.
In a way, that's a bad thing, but in another way, don't we all have to grow up and stop living in Wonderland at some point?
The dilema is this:
Where do you draw the line between a learning curve, and going too far, untolerable treatment, etc.?
How long do you sit by while you lose your innocence before you decide enough is enough?
Or how do you make yourself see that it's just that; a learning experience?
I don't even know what I'm saying I'm just kindof rambling at this point.
Anyway.
Dog sitting this week.
Whoop!
till later
Xtine
The girl in the mirror
The one with the innocence
She screams but no one hears her
The one with a broken heart
She tried not to hurt
Now she's in the dark
> both of those are vocals
I'm lookin for my innocence
Don't know why it went and where it's been
But I think it's got somethin to do with memory
And memory's got somethin to do with you... and me
...
Rapping begins
I don't know when i lost it but i think it was with you
when i gave you my heart too early too soon
somethin happened and im not real sure
do i stay or walk out that door?
And now i find my innocence is gone
just like the night turns into dawn
I tried to stop you but i guess you didn't hear
the seriousness in my voice and the smell of fear
Now we're grown up from experience and pain
way before our time it's not even sane
Never meant to hurt or do anything
but i gotta accept that such are my chains
my heart was given way before its time
so be careful with yours, don't waste it like mine
shouldn't have lost it cause it caused me this
and now iv'e lost my innocence."
^ Snippets of a song I wrote. It's actually a rap...which is weird considering i'm usually a country or light metal girl....
But the lyrics seemed to be sticking in my head so hey.
I've been doing some thinking.
I practically got nothin' but time on my hands so hey, why not.
Besides. It's when you're bored or trying to sleep/relax that all of the secrets of the world start to bang on your door and beg for answers. -.-
But during my... meditation ( :P )
I realized that you don't have to be assaulted, or do something bad to lose your innocence. Being hurt, watching those you love be hurt...
Pain can steal innocence. You realize that the world is so much more "Big and Bad" than the big land where dreams come true that you see as a child. When you come to realize this, a part of your innocence is stripped away as you no longer trust like the child you were. You no longer give trust, friendship, favors, love as freely as you did when you saw everyone as a friend.
In a way, that's a bad thing, but in another way, don't we all have to grow up and stop living in Wonderland at some point?
The dilema is this:
Where do you draw the line between a learning curve, and going too far, untolerable treatment, etc.?
How long do you sit by while you lose your innocence before you decide enough is enough?
Or how do you make yourself see that it's just that; a learning experience?
I don't even know what I'm saying I'm just kindof rambling at this point.
Anyway.
Dog sitting this week.
Whoop!
till later
Xtine
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Beauty From Pain
Well... Many of you know what happened...
I'm sure many of you don't even know something happened.
I'm not going into detail because, well, to be honest, it's personally humiliating but also, I care too deeply about others involved.
But in short, I've been hurt more than I ever have in my life. And through that, I'm rediscovering God. I've realized that even those closest to me, my BEST friends, the people who claim to love me the most, are still people. They are still human and will, at some point, fail me.
Fairytales. I've blogged about those before. And how unreal they are and how they never happen.
Well I'd LOVE to say they don't. I'd LOVE to say I was stupid for ever believing that they did. But the truth is, for the time that I did believe in them, I was the happiest that I've ever been. Yes. Bad things will happen in life. But even fairytales have an evil twist in them. The point is that they end ok.
Well I found the evil twist in my story. And its basically a knife in my back and it's killing me. But the weird thing is, one of my best friends, who swears to always have my back and protect me, even she believes that my life is practically a Lifetime movie. One of those stupid sappy stories where love is real and everyone's lives turn out perfectly and the little grows up to be the star she'd always hoped she'd be. While it would be so easy to say that isn't true, that isn't how it works...
this friend believes in me. She believes in my future. My life. And she encouraged me never to give up. It's so rare to see something this beautiful, even with its scars.
I saw a status on facebook today that shook me.
"Don't put it off. Get to work now. Believe in yourself and go get what you want. No, don't just go get it. Attack it and take it cause it's yours. Take it cause you know that in you heart, if you don't, you will never forget that it was there all along for the taking and you just b****** up and let it go... Though the pain may come over you, never let it overcome you."
Basically that's all I needed to hear.
I thought I was trying.
I realized that that's just what it was. I THOUGHT I was. Then I realized that it will take ALL of me to work hard enough to get what I want. That I will be at war with my own mind for a long time to come but if I have "Gazelle Intensity" (as Dave Ramsey calls it... I figured someone would catch it...) if I fight with all I have, I will survive, I will find myself and what I lost.
So anyway.... Ladies... my apologies for ever telling you otherwise. But guess what. Fairytales exist!! Perfection does not. But fairytales are never actually perfect anyway.. Imperfection is what makes life perfect...
So this is a song I wrote...
Worthless and alone,
Everything unknown,
Pain and fear inside,
Emptiness in her eyes.
She's a bird who loved to sing,
but the pain has clipped her wings.
Now she's just the rat on the street,
wary of anyone that she meets.
The scars have stories to tell
Each one has a name
This one she didn't see coming
The pain drives her insane
There is One who shows His love.
She refuses to accept.
Conviced her only escape
lies in the hands of death.
Refusing to give up
His pursuit becomes enough,
Laying down her shield of pain
She is free of jailbird chains.
And He says
Chorus:
There is nowhere you can go
no where you can hide.
you're never on your own
I'm always on your side
You'll never mess up so bad
never fall down so hard
you'll never run so far
that you don't know who you are.
YOU ARE MINE.
Temptation knows no bounds
it haunts the pure of heart
everybody falls,
every night gets dark
it ruins the perfect things
the guilt is crippling
pain and fear inside
hatred in his eyes
Falling on his knees he cries
for what he's lost. He wants to die.
From somewhere in the dark a voice
calls to Its son, Its beloved by choice.
It says
Chorus
A story of pain
with a beautiful ending
the jailbird in chains
and the man who was stained
Each one finds love
and each their courage.
Strength to love again,
unaware they were purposed
Purposed by the Author,
of Celestial things
Meant to be together
To grow new wings.
Chorus.
Welp. I felt like venting... and typing is theraputic... that's definitely not the right spelling....
the clickity click of the keys sounds pleasant and monotonous.
Anyway.
Fight for what you want.
The world is at your fingertips.
Reach out.
"I believe in pink.
I believe that laughng is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing,
kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day
**and**
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES."
~Audrey Hepburn
ttfn
I'm sure many of you don't even know something happened.
I'm not going into detail because, well, to be honest, it's personally humiliating but also, I care too deeply about others involved.
But in short, I've been hurt more than I ever have in my life. And through that, I'm rediscovering God. I've realized that even those closest to me, my BEST friends, the people who claim to love me the most, are still people. They are still human and will, at some point, fail me.
Fairytales. I've blogged about those before. And how unreal they are and how they never happen.
Well I'd LOVE to say they don't. I'd LOVE to say I was stupid for ever believing that they did. But the truth is, for the time that I did believe in them, I was the happiest that I've ever been. Yes. Bad things will happen in life. But even fairytales have an evil twist in them. The point is that they end ok.
Well I found the evil twist in my story. And its basically a knife in my back and it's killing me. But the weird thing is, one of my best friends, who swears to always have my back and protect me, even she believes that my life is practically a Lifetime movie. One of those stupid sappy stories where love is real and everyone's lives turn out perfectly and the little grows up to be the star she'd always hoped she'd be. While it would be so easy to say that isn't true, that isn't how it works...
this friend believes in me. She believes in my future. My life. And she encouraged me never to give up. It's so rare to see something this beautiful, even with its scars.
I saw a status on facebook today that shook me.
"Don't put it off. Get to work now. Believe in yourself and go get what you want. No, don't just go get it. Attack it and take it cause it's yours. Take it cause you know that in you heart, if you don't, you will never forget that it was there all along for the taking and you just b****** up and let it go... Though the pain may come over you, never let it overcome you."
Basically that's all I needed to hear.
I thought I was trying.
I realized that that's just what it was. I THOUGHT I was. Then I realized that it will take ALL of me to work hard enough to get what I want. That I will be at war with my own mind for a long time to come but if I have "Gazelle Intensity" (as Dave Ramsey calls it... I figured someone would catch it...) if I fight with all I have, I will survive, I will find myself and what I lost.
So anyway.... Ladies... my apologies for ever telling you otherwise. But guess what. Fairytales exist!! Perfection does not. But fairytales are never actually perfect anyway.. Imperfection is what makes life perfect...
So this is a song I wrote...
Worthless and alone,
Everything unknown,
Pain and fear inside,
Emptiness in her eyes.
She's a bird who loved to sing,
but the pain has clipped her wings.
Now she's just the rat on the street,
wary of anyone that she meets.
The scars have stories to tell
Each one has a name
This one she didn't see coming
The pain drives her insane
There is One who shows His love.
She refuses to accept.
Conviced her only escape
lies in the hands of death.
Refusing to give up
His pursuit becomes enough,
Laying down her shield of pain
She is free of jailbird chains.
And He says
Chorus:
There is nowhere you can go
no where you can hide.
you're never on your own
I'm always on your side
You'll never mess up so bad
never fall down so hard
you'll never run so far
that you don't know who you are.
YOU ARE MINE.
Temptation knows no bounds
it haunts the pure of heart
everybody falls,
every night gets dark
it ruins the perfect things
the guilt is crippling
pain and fear inside
hatred in his eyes
Falling on his knees he cries
for what he's lost. He wants to die.
From somewhere in the dark a voice
calls to Its son, Its beloved by choice.
It says
Chorus
A story of pain
with a beautiful ending
the jailbird in chains
and the man who was stained
Each one finds love
and each their courage.
Strength to love again,
unaware they were purposed
Purposed by the Author,
of Celestial things
Meant to be together
To grow new wings.
Chorus.
Welp. I felt like venting... and typing is theraputic... that's definitely not the right spelling....
the clickity click of the keys sounds pleasant and monotonous.
Anyway.
Fight for what you want.
The world is at your fingertips.
Reach out.
"I believe in pink.
I believe that laughng is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing,
kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day
**and**
I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES."
~Audrey Hepburn
ttfn
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Update, Don'ts, Randomness
AWRIIIIGHT.
It's kinda been a really long time since I've written a blog, or, well.... anything for that matter. I've missed it:/
I like being able to whine and complain about all manner of things without feeling too terribly because anyone that reads it is responsible for it themselves, it's not like we're in person where it would be considered rude to just up and walk off. It's a website. I don't see who reads all of this crap or just half. Or not at all. So I just whine to myself! :)
I think I'll add to my list of Do's and Don'ts of Public Behaviour. (Which, as you've noticed, is more like a big fat list of Don'ts....ehh:) )
DO. NOT. just throw your credit card down on the counter when you're checking out at my store. If I'm standing there waiting for you to put it in my hand, and you just toss it on the counter, would you like to know what that makes me want to do to you? I'd just love to take that card and shove it up your tail. I'd LOVE to just toss your items on the floor in front of you while you stand there with an outstreched hand and say "oops". and I'd REALLY love to just kick your butt out of my store. :)
On the other side of buying stuff, if you work at a store that serves people (most stores do....) Then customer service SHOULD be on your list of capabilities, should it not? Well it's sweet of you to just throw my items in the bag, huff and puff when I change my mind about something, act like ringing me out is SOOOO out of your way.... but I don't really appreciate that. If I can treat every customer, no matter how rude or dull, with respect and courtesy so can you. What else do you get paid for?? Lord.
Oh. and to the bajilions of people who seem to think that I'm new.... NO. I'm not new. and NO. I'm not having an "off day", actually. It's just you :)
Lalala.....
I neeeeeeed to start working on music!!!!
There's so much to do but I don't even wannaaaa.....
Yuck.
Welp.
I'm thinking Titanic is in order.
I'm feeling like a sad, girly, sappy, crying movie.
Crying sounds good.
Yeap:)
Merp! Wells I'm off:) I lost my train of thought.... choooo chooooo......
TTFN:)
I miss watching Pooh...
I'll have to fix that...
huh
...
CYAZZZ
:)
I wish I could freestyle rap...
It's kinda been a really long time since I've written a blog, or, well.... anything for that matter. I've missed it:/
I like being able to whine and complain about all manner of things without feeling too terribly because anyone that reads it is responsible for it themselves, it's not like we're in person where it would be considered rude to just up and walk off. It's a website. I don't see who reads all of this crap or just half. Or not at all. So I just whine to myself! :)
I think I'll add to my list of Do's and Don'ts of Public Behaviour. (Which, as you've noticed, is more like a big fat list of Don'ts....ehh:) )
DO. NOT. just throw your credit card down on the counter when you're checking out at my store. If I'm standing there waiting for you to put it in my hand, and you just toss it on the counter, would you like to know what that makes me want to do to you? I'd just love to take that card and shove it up your tail. I'd LOVE to just toss your items on the floor in front of you while you stand there with an outstreched hand and say "oops". and I'd REALLY love to just kick your butt out of my store. :)
On the other side of buying stuff, if you work at a store that serves people (most stores do....) Then customer service SHOULD be on your list of capabilities, should it not? Well it's sweet of you to just throw my items in the bag, huff and puff when I change my mind about something, act like ringing me out is SOOOO out of your way.... but I don't really appreciate that. If I can treat every customer, no matter how rude or dull, with respect and courtesy so can you. What else do you get paid for?? Lord.
Oh. and to the bajilions of people who seem to think that I'm new.... NO. I'm not new. and NO. I'm not having an "off day", actually. It's just you :)
Lalala.....
I neeeeeeed to start working on music!!!!
There's so much to do but I don't even wannaaaa.....
Yuck.
Welp.
I'm thinking Titanic is in order.
I'm feeling like a sad, girly, sappy, crying movie.
Crying sounds good.
Yeap:)
Merp! Wells I'm off:) I lost my train of thought.... choooo chooooo......
TTFN:)
I miss watching Pooh...
I'll have to fix that...
huh
...
CYAZZZ
:)
I wish I could freestyle rap...
Friday, June 1, 2012
RaNdOmStUfFfFfFfFfF
Well. It's been quite a long time since my last post.
I figured I'd take a break and let the world cool off after my last post...
The feedback was a mixture of "Wow way to go!" and "You are the world's worst person".
A lot of things have changed. Not all for the better but not all for the worse either. One of the best things is....
*Que dramatic theme music*
I GRADUATED!!!
Halle-freakin-lujah.
No more drama, (school-related anyway,) no more thesis, (THANK GOD,) no more waking up at 6 am, (ANGELS SING).
I won't lie, the last few months have been.... challenging. Hopefully I've grown from them, I like to think I have. But growing doesn't always feel so great. I guess that's why there are "growing pains" huh. At the moment I'm still wondering why God had me go through some of the things that have and are still going down. But I'm just assuming that there's a purpose.
I really need to move out.
NOW.
I love my parents. I do.
But I guess my thing is...
I'm 18 years old.
I am legal to drink on my property,
Smoke
Get married without parental consent
Vote (DOWN WITH THE BLOODY BIG EARS!)
And, my personal favorite,
MOVE OUT.
I chose to live at home right now, mostly because the thought of moving out scared me and at the moment I don't make enough to live on my own and girlfriends with supportive jobs are scarce so I can't room with someone.
I'm seriousy reconsidering that decision.
House rules? Fine. That's normal.
But if "house rules" involve treating me like a child for the rest of my life, haha guess what. I won't live in your house!
If you can't be a parent in any other areas of my life, I don't really see that you deserve to boss me around like one either...
There also comes a point when parents stop being the real... for lack of a better term, "authority figure" in their son/daughter's life and God and the church become the authority. It's been my belief that this happens when the son/daughter reaches adulthood and can legally live on their own.
Well. That point has come.
Although I'm pretty sure it snuck up on my parents.
Like I said. Don't get me wrong, I love them. I really do.
But we don't always see eye to eye and on a lot of those issues, I can get over it because they're really not that important or won't affect me for too long. On some things, though, I feel like if I don't say something I'll explode!...
Anyway.....
Moving on! Sorry for that.
Have you ever noticed someone really attractive, but then noticed that they obviously KNOW they're attractive?..... It's like... "Hot!!!! :D" to... "O.o.NOT."
Because I'm a girl, (OH MY GOSH REALLY??) I'll talk about guys.
Guys are so much cuter when they have no idea how handsome they are! Something about the innocence and lack of clinically obese ego is just.. just... it's adorable:)
AAAAAANYWAY. It's way late.. or way early.. however you wanna look at it.... and I kinda have a reason to be up before the crack of noon...or later.... so I guess I'll ttfn. :) (If you don't know what that means, you do not deserve existance. (Well that's slightly over the top...) But you're on my list so you better figure it out or I might cry!!
Ta-ta-for-now --Tigger! :)
Hugs kisses unicorns rainbows and mushy stuff!
I figured I'd take a break and let the world cool off after my last post...
The feedback was a mixture of "Wow way to go!" and "You are the world's worst person".
A lot of things have changed. Not all for the better but not all for the worse either. One of the best things is....
*Que dramatic theme music*
I GRADUATED!!!
Halle-freakin-lujah.
No more drama, (school-related anyway,) no more thesis, (THANK GOD,) no more waking up at 6 am, (ANGELS SING).
I won't lie, the last few months have been.... challenging. Hopefully I've grown from them, I like to think I have. But growing doesn't always feel so great. I guess that's why there are "growing pains" huh. At the moment I'm still wondering why God had me go through some of the things that have and are still going down. But I'm just assuming that there's a purpose.
I really need to move out.
NOW.
I love my parents. I do.
But I guess my thing is...
I'm 18 years old.
I am legal to drink on my property,
Smoke
Get married without parental consent
Vote (DOWN WITH THE BLOODY BIG EARS!)
And, my personal favorite,
MOVE OUT.
I chose to live at home right now, mostly because the thought of moving out scared me and at the moment I don't make enough to live on my own and girlfriends with supportive jobs are scarce so I can't room with someone.
I'm seriousy reconsidering that decision.
House rules? Fine. That's normal.
But if "house rules" involve treating me like a child for the rest of my life, haha guess what. I won't live in your house!
If you can't be a parent in any other areas of my life, I don't really see that you deserve to boss me around like one either...
There also comes a point when parents stop being the real... for lack of a better term, "authority figure" in their son/daughter's life and God and the church become the authority. It's been my belief that this happens when the son/daughter reaches adulthood and can legally live on their own.
Well. That point has come.
Although I'm pretty sure it snuck up on my parents.
Like I said. Don't get me wrong, I love them. I really do.
But we don't always see eye to eye and on a lot of those issues, I can get over it because they're really not that important or won't affect me for too long. On some things, though, I feel like if I don't say something I'll explode!...
Anyway.....
Moving on! Sorry for that.
Have you ever noticed someone really attractive, but then noticed that they obviously KNOW they're attractive?..... It's like... "Hot!!!! :D" to... "O.o.NOT."
Because I'm a girl, (OH MY GOSH REALLY??) I'll talk about guys.
Guys are so much cuter when they have no idea how handsome they are! Something about the innocence and lack of clinically obese ego is just.. just... it's adorable:)
AAAAAANYWAY. It's way late.. or way early.. however you wanna look at it.... and I kinda have a reason to be up before the crack of noon...or later.... so I guess I'll ttfn. :) (If you don't know what that means, you do not deserve existance. (Well that's slightly over the top...) But you're on my list so you better figure it out or I might cry!!
Ta-ta-for-now --Tigger! :)
Hugs kisses unicorns rainbows and mushy stuff!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Warning To The Pansies. This Will Be Personal. And I'm Not Holding Back.
WARNING TO THE SENSITIVE.
**BEWARE**
This will be personal and extremely honest. So if you don't want to hear what I have to say, don't read this.
And another thing. I will try extremely hard to keep this G but if there is an occasional profanity, I'm sorry.
I'm so. entirely. sick. and fed up. with being
JUDGED.
Get a life.
If you're really running that low on things to do that you need to nit-pick and find small little things to whine and complain about, things that don't involve you, things that you have no business sticking your snotty little nose into, then go to Walmart and buy some class, go out and get a life, and leave me the heck alone.
I will not give up an opportunity that comes my way to be happy, to feel worth something, to be someone, to be appreciated, to do something that I think is beneficial and worthwhile, just to spare some feelings. If this was truly detrimental to someone's salvation or life or whatever, that's completely different.
But shocker.
This has nothing to do with salvation,
nothing to do with life or death,
nothing to do with other people in general.
Don't come whining to me if you get your finger bit by sticking it into a dog's cage where it doesn't belong.
For those of you that know me, I care about people.
When I love, I love hard, and I love deep.
So when I do offend someone, I feel terrible.
There comes a point, however, when sometimes you just need to do what's best for you. You can't always live your life stepping around feelings, sacrificing every chance you have to be happy, JUST so you don't make someone mad. Guess what, unless you kick their grandma in the face or something, they'll most likely get over it.
I'm not saying to not be sensitive. You have to be careful how you handle things. But you can't force yourself into a situation that's horrible for you and uncomfortable and miserable just to make someone else feel good! Yeah, if it will save their life, you can deal with crawling around in some mud for a while but if it's just to make sure they're not offended by something.... There is a point where you need to live for you.
I'm sick of having people tell me who to talk to and who not to talk to
who to hang around and who not to hang around
who to date or more accurately, who not to date.
Unless you're God, you have no control over me. (Well ok parents kinda do too...)
And if you don't like what I'm doing, whining and complaining about it to 20 other people doesn't solve jack. If you have a problem with me or with what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, say it to my FACE. Last time I checked I'm a big girl and I can take it. Otherwise, acting like an elementary student and whining to all your classmates about someone won't solve problems,
won't do anything for you,
and certainly doesn't make you look cool.
You look like the sniveling gossip that you are.
I'm a big girl. And like I said, I can handle all of the crap you dish out. But that's not to say it isn't annoying as ****. (I'm trying to be nice.) That's not to say it doesn't hurt.
Especially when your best friends turn on you.
Oh my bad, sorry, I'll just go make myself miserable to spare your feelings.
..... LOL JK
There is a HUGE difference between being hurt and actively trying to hurt me and get back at me. What did I do wrong again? Choose to be with someone who makes me happy? Uhhh.... Yeah I'll get right on fixing that. Not.
Hurt?
I can understand that, and I truly am SO sorry......
But bitter, aggressive, rude, snotty, back-stabbing, gossiping, actively trying to hurt me?
Yeah you lost my sympathy right there.
Well are you happy? You're the reason there are wet spots on my pillow.
You're the reason for my scars.
You're the reason I don't trust.
You're the reason I have walls.
You're the reason I don't let anyone in.
You're the reason for my lack of faith in humanity.
You're the reason I shut you out.
Are you happy now?
Did that satisfy your thirst for revenge on my happiness?
Well....
Guess it probably just grinds your gears that I'm still happy huh....
Haha well that sucks.
You don't want to be involved? Gladly. This was never about you to begin with.
You're done? When were you involved?
You're going to judge? Since when have you know ANY details?
You're going to hate? Since when were you perfect?
I'm sorry that you have nothing better to do with your life than sit around pretending to be of the utmost importance and judge other people.
I guess you'll be stuck in highschool mode forever.
But as for me, I've moved on.
I'm over high school.
I'm over your drama.
And most of all.
I'm over you.
Daughtry--Over You.
"Now I never saw it comin
Shoulda started runnin
A long long time ago
Never thought I'd doubt you
Better off without you
More than you, more than you know
Slowly gettin closure
Guess it's really over
I'm finally gettin better
Now I'm pickin up the pieces
From spendin' all of these years
putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you."
.... Ironic. I'm performing this song at the talent show this Friday.... haha
Come watch!! :D Me, Devin, Grant (Grantuous/Grantonimly), Adam, Caleb. Yeeeeuh!
Anyway.
Sigh.***
Writing things out... yeah that felt good.
K well I've got other fun things to do so I'll seeya later kiddies.
Love, rainbows, happiness, unicorns, <3, mushyfeelingstuffetc....bla bla bla.
**BEWARE**
This will be personal and extremely honest. So if you don't want to hear what I have to say, don't read this.
And another thing. I will try extremely hard to keep this G but if there is an occasional profanity, I'm sorry.
I'm so. entirely. sick. and fed up. with being
JUDGED.
Get a life.
If you're really running that low on things to do that you need to nit-pick and find small little things to whine and complain about, things that don't involve you, things that you have no business sticking your snotty little nose into, then go to Walmart and buy some class, go out and get a life, and leave me the heck alone.
I will not give up an opportunity that comes my way to be happy, to feel worth something, to be someone, to be appreciated, to do something that I think is beneficial and worthwhile, just to spare some feelings. If this was truly detrimental to someone's salvation or life or whatever, that's completely different.
But shocker.
This has nothing to do with salvation,
nothing to do with life or death,
nothing to do with other people in general.
Don't come whining to me if you get your finger bit by sticking it into a dog's cage where it doesn't belong.
For those of you that know me, I care about people.
When I love, I love hard, and I love deep.
So when I do offend someone, I feel terrible.
There comes a point, however, when sometimes you just need to do what's best for you. You can't always live your life stepping around feelings, sacrificing every chance you have to be happy, JUST so you don't make someone mad. Guess what, unless you kick their grandma in the face or something, they'll most likely get over it.
I'm not saying to not be sensitive. You have to be careful how you handle things. But you can't force yourself into a situation that's horrible for you and uncomfortable and miserable just to make someone else feel good! Yeah, if it will save their life, you can deal with crawling around in some mud for a while but if it's just to make sure they're not offended by something.... There is a point where you need to live for you.
I'm sick of having people tell me who to talk to and who not to talk to
who to hang around and who not to hang around
who to date or more accurately, who not to date.
Unless you're God, you have no control over me. (Well ok parents kinda do too...)
And if you don't like what I'm doing, whining and complaining about it to 20 other people doesn't solve jack. If you have a problem with me or with what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, say it to my FACE. Last time I checked I'm a big girl and I can take it. Otherwise, acting like an elementary student and whining to all your classmates about someone won't solve problems,
won't do anything for you,
and certainly doesn't make you look cool.
You look like the sniveling gossip that you are.
I'm a big girl. And like I said, I can handle all of the crap you dish out. But that's not to say it isn't annoying as ****. (I'm trying to be nice.) That's not to say it doesn't hurt.
Especially when your best friends turn on you.
Oh my bad, sorry, I'll just go make myself miserable to spare your feelings.
..... LOL JK
There is a HUGE difference between being hurt and actively trying to hurt me and get back at me. What did I do wrong again? Choose to be with someone who makes me happy? Uhhh.... Yeah I'll get right on fixing that. Not.
Hurt?
I can understand that, and I truly am SO sorry......
But bitter, aggressive, rude, snotty, back-stabbing, gossiping, actively trying to hurt me?
Yeah you lost my sympathy right there.
Well are you happy? You're the reason there are wet spots on my pillow.
You're the reason for my scars.
You're the reason I don't trust.
You're the reason I have walls.
You're the reason I don't let anyone in.
You're the reason for my lack of faith in humanity.
You're the reason I shut you out.
Are you happy now?
Did that satisfy your thirst for revenge on my happiness?
Well....
Guess it probably just grinds your gears that I'm still happy huh....
Haha well that sucks.
You don't want to be involved? Gladly. This was never about you to begin with.
You're done? When were you involved?
You're going to judge? Since when have you know ANY details?
You're going to hate? Since when were you perfect?
I'm sorry that you have nothing better to do with your life than sit around pretending to be of the utmost importance and judge other people.
I guess you'll be stuck in highschool mode forever.
But as for me, I've moved on.
I'm over high school.
I'm over your drama.
And most of all.
I'm over you.
Daughtry--Over You.
"Now I never saw it comin
Shoulda started runnin
A long long time ago
Never thought I'd doubt you
Better off without you
More than you, more than you know
Slowly gettin closure
Guess it's really over
I'm finally gettin better
Now I'm pickin up the pieces
From spendin' all of these years
putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you."
.... Ironic. I'm performing this song at the talent show this Friday.... haha
Come watch!! :D Me, Devin, Grant (Grantuous/Grantonimly), Adam, Caleb. Yeeeeuh!
Anyway.
Sigh.***
Writing things out... yeah that felt good.
K well I've got other fun things to do so I'll seeya later kiddies.
Love, rainbows, happiness, unicorns, <3, mushyfeelingstuffetc....bla bla bla.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Do's and Don'ts # Tres!
Well it's been a while since I've given society any advice. I figured the world has probably fallen to bits without me. So here goes the rescue mission.
# whatever... I don't remember where I left off....
Pardon me, sir gangster, but I believe your trousers are descending.
If I wanted to see your underwear.. Well I'd never want to see them so you shouldn't be flashin' them. And yes, it's true, I don't "have to look" but if you DON'T want people lookin, then what the heck is the point. I dunno I just thought that seemed a little strange...
# next.
If you're gonna talk crap about someone, at least do it right. Don't look at people and talk about them and giggle AS THEY'RE LOOKING AT YOU, stupid. I really don't know what else to add to that, it's just common sense. I mean I'm not promoting gossip but it's possibly one of the most annoying freaking things ever when you look over at someone and they're staring at you, whispering and giggling. You're like "Really? I can see you. Why not just say it to my face? Like I'm going to cry or something?...
Moron..."
Anywayyyyyy :)
# 1,021,232,123,212,321.0000000000009
Why judge? Why hate? Are you really that conceited that you think you're perfect? I hate to break it to you sweetie but you're not God Almighty Himself, you're not an angel, and you're certainly not flawless. Everyone has their quirks, everyone has things that others don't like about them. Everybody makes mistakes (everybody has those days), screws up, acts retarded, overreacts, etc.
We are all just people. Why hate on other people just because they have different quirks than you do? How does that even make sense? I'm not saying you have to like everything. But I am saying that to treat someone poorly just because you don't care for some of their characteristics or lifestyle choices is not ok, does not make you any more cool, hipster, or likable. In fact, it just makes you the kind of person that should be judged and hated on.
# after the previous...
Ladies.... Please keep your boobs in your shirt...
I know that's a little blunt but honestly that's the best way to say it sometimes. Quit unwrappin the presents before it's Christmas!!!! (And lets face it.... sometimes the presents... well they're not that great....if you catch my drift...) If you really need attention from guys that badly, at least find a guy who will give you the RIGHT kind... there are plenty of places to go where you don't have to put yourself under a microscope for people to stare at. Any attention you get from looking like that isn't going to be the good kind....
Plus.... It might just be me... but I'm pretty sure no one wants to look at that... yuck....
Anyway... it's off to work for me!
:)
Ta-ta younglings.
# whatever... I don't remember where I left off....
Pardon me, sir gangster, but I believe your trousers are descending.
If I wanted to see your underwear.. Well I'd never want to see them so you shouldn't be flashin' them. And yes, it's true, I don't "have to look" but if you DON'T want people lookin, then what the heck is the point. I dunno I just thought that seemed a little strange...
# next.
If you're gonna talk crap about someone, at least do it right. Don't look at people and talk about them and giggle AS THEY'RE LOOKING AT YOU, stupid. I really don't know what else to add to that, it's just common sense. I mean I'm not promoting gossip but it's possibly one of the most annoying freaking things ever when you look over at someone and they're staring at you, whispering and giggling. You're like "Really? I can see you. Why not just say it to my face? Like I'm going to cry or something?...
Moron..."
Anywayyyyyy :)
# 1,021,232,123,212,321.0000000000009
Why judge? Why hate? Are you really that conceited that you think you're perfect? I hate to break it to you sweetie but you're not God Almighty Himself, you're not an angel, and you're certainly not flawless. Everyone has their quirks, everyone has things that others don't like about them. Everybody makes mistakes (everybody has those days), screws up, acts retarded, overreacts, etc.
We are all just people. Why hate on other people just because they have different quirks than you do? How does that even make sense? I'm not saying you have to like everything. But I am saying that to treat someone poorly just because you don't care for some of their characteristics or lifestyle choices is not ok, does not make you any more cool, hipster, or likable. In fact, it just makes you the kind of person that should be judged and hated on.
# after the previous...
Ladies.... Please keep your boobs in your shirt...
I know that's a little blunt but honestly that's the best way to say it sometimes. Quit unwrappin the presents before it's Christmas!!!! (And lets face it.... sometimes the presents... well they're not that great....if you catch my drift...) If you really need attention from guys that badly, at least find a guy who will give you the RIGHT kind... there are plenty of places to go where you don't have to put yourself under a microscope for people to stare at. Any attention you get from looking like that isn't going to be the good kind....
Plus.... It might just be me... but I'm pretty sure no one wants to look at that... yuck....
Anyway... it's off to work for me!
:)
Ta-ta younglings.
Monday, April 2, 2012
The List Goes On. (Do's and Don'ts #2)
#6. CONTROL YOUR FREAKING CHILDREN! Usually I lead in with an intro but this just needs to be said, point blank. Letting your children run around without supervision, destroying everything within sight like a freaking tornado... not exactly polite. If you tell your children not to do something and threaten consequences, I suggest following through. If not, your children will grow up with the mentality that everyone is as much of a pushover as you and do their own thing. Besides..... if one more child runs around my store knocking over the bottles that have been so meticulously straightened and perfectly aligned with the edges of the shelves, or goes around banging on our windows because someones mother didn't enforce her command to "get inside, now"... I'm going to burst and turn into a zombie. Aaaaaand that's not really great for clientèle.
#7. There's a line between controlling and abusing. Actually not just a line, a gap. A Grand Canyon of difference. An ocean. You get my point. But your children watch you to see how they should behave as they grow. If you're going to treat your child like a pest, a nasty zit on your face, a gross, unlovable freak, you don't deserve them. Your little girl or little boy is a gift from God and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't deserve the joy of parenthood. You were once that "annoying" little girl or boy. You were once that small and helpless and you were obviously given a chance... Don't be retarded.
#8. Sorry those last two were so serious, the next few will be more humorous. I hope. Starting with ... creepers.... If you're 25+ there is no WAY you should be flirting with me. Especially while RETURNING things you'd bought, hopped up on crack. (Just a side note.... who returns single pairs of gloves...?? They're like 30 cents.... do you really owe your drug dealer that much?....okok that was kinda judgmental....but still...) You're 40.... I'm 18..... does anyone else see a problem with this?? And if you're going to flirt, at least make it interesting instead of trying to sound all seductive and creepy when asking common sense questions about our merchandise... sigh.... I'm not sure why older men think its so great to pretend to be attractive young guys and flirt with girls who obviously are not and will never be interested...seriously, how often does that stuff actually work?? Some day I really am going to get the nerve to just pull the Jenna Marbles face. :O and just sit there till they leave.... It'll work... haha
yeah this is pretty much 100% accurate......
Anyway.... I'm gettin up at 5:25...aka No-Good-God-Fearing-Child-Should-Ever-Be-Awake-This-Early O'clock.
Night night :)
#7. There's a line between controlling and abusing. Actually not just a line, a gap. A Grand Canyon of difference. An ocean. You get my point. But your children watch you to see how they should behave as they grow. If you're going to treat your child like a pest, a nasty zit on your face, a gross, unlovable freak, you don't deserve them. Your little girl or little boy is a gift from God and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn't deserve the joy of parenthood. You were once that "annoying" little girl or boy. You were once that small and helpless and you were obviously given a chance... Don't be retarded.
#8. Sorry those last two were so serious, the next few will be more humorous. I hope. Starting with ... creepers.... If you're 25+ there is no WAY you should be flirting with me. Especially while RETURNING things you'd bought, hopped up on crack. (Just a side note.... who returns single pairs of gloves...?? They're like 30 cents.... do you really owe your drug dealer that much?....okok that was kinda judgmental....but still...) You're 40.... I'm 18..... does anyone else see a problem with this?? And if you're going to flirt, at least make it interesting instead of trying to sound all seductive and creepy when asking common sense questions about our merchandise... sigh.... I'm not sure why older men think its so great to pretend to be attractive young guys and flirt with girls who obviously are not and will never be interested...seriously, how often does that stuff actually work?? Some day I really am going to get the nerve to just pull the Jenna Marbles face. :O and just sit there till they leave.... It'll work... haha
Anyway.... I'm gettin up at 5:25...aka No-Good-God-Fearing-Child-Should-Ever-Be-Awake-This-Early O'clock.
Night night :)
Saturday, March 31, 2012
The Do's and Don'ts of Public Behavior.
#1. I think one of my least favorite, most detested practices comes from the guys' side. Guys, please. Do. Not. Arrange. Yourself. In. Public.
Nobody wants to see you stickin your hand down your pants to arrange yourself. That's what the bathroom is for. Or anywhere private for that matter... It's called common courtesy... There's no need to act like a caveman.
#2. The tie for my most detested public practice is from the girls. See? I'm not sexist. Ladies... (Especially older, cougar-like women,) please, please, please, spare the world from the scarring sight of seeing stuff your wad of cash in your bra and jiggle it around!! A. There are such things as wallets. B. Handing me soggy, wet, stench-ridden cash is NOT the way to make my day. It's more likely on the right road to make sure I sabotage your hair products so they explode all over your face....Sick. You should run to the store to pick up some class, I guess you ran out.
#3. This one goes to the youngin's (usually boys) that walk through the halls like they're as wide as the halls and pretending to have hit 5 feet tall. You're a sevie. 1. you're about 3 1/2 feet tall and 2. You don't own the halls. I'm sorry to shake things up but, news flash, other people go to school too. And many of them are girls, whom you should be respecting. But no. Your idea is to smash into them or shove past them or speed up to just make it out the door before they do. Rude. You're lucky I don't just step on you or hipcheck you into the next millennium. I'm twice your size, I could crush you like a bug.
#4. This one's directed to many people on multiple levels. I'm pretty sure we were all taught not to chew with our mouths open. I guess a few of us have forgotten that nice little tip. Everyone has their own food to eat and no one enjoys losing their appetite due to getting grossed out by listening to your food and spit mushin around in your face. Chomp chomp chomp, squish, mush, crunch, smack... none of these are soothing sounds to eat by. Would you mind practicing some manners and maybe maturity? What are we, five?
#5. Common sense is...well, just that. Common sense. What worries me is that common sense is becoming less common and is, instead, a rarity. From personal experience, some people just couldn't take a hint if it walked up behind them and drop kicked them to China. Honey, you need to wake up and realize you're not Baby Jesus, you're not an angel, and you're not perfect. If you understand these basic concepts, I think a huge roadblock will be removed and you might come closer to catching on when someone isn't feeling your vibe. (Just as an example... If someone ignores your every text, yes even the ones you send TWICE a day EVERY day, for 3 weeks...it might mean they don't wanna talk to you.... just a thought.)
Welp that's about it for now, more will come later. :)
TTFN
Ta-Ta For Now :)
Nobody wants to see you stickin your hand down your pants to arrange yourself. That's what the bathroom is for. Or anywhere private for that matter... It's called common courtesy... There's no need to act like a caveman.
#2. The tie for my most detested public practice is from the girls. See? I'm not sexist. Ladies... (Especially older, cougar-like women,) please, please, please, spare the world from the scarring sight of seeing stuff your wad of cash in your bra and jiggle it around!! A. There are such things as wallets. B. Handing me soggy, wet, stench-ridden cash is NOT the way to make my day. It's more likely on the right road to make sure I sabotage your hair products so they explode all over your face....Sick. You should run to the store to pick up some class, I guess you ran out.
#3. This one goes to the youngin's (usually boys) that walk through the halls like they're as wide as the halls and pretending to have hit 5 feet tall. You're a sevie. 1. you're about 3 1/2 feet tall and 2. You don't own the halls. I'm sorry to shake things up but, news flash, other people go to school too. And many of them are girls, whom you should be respecting. But no. Your idea is to smash into them or shove past them or speed up to just make it out the door before they do. Rude. You're lucky I don't just step on you or hipcheck you into the next millennium. I'm twice your size, I could crush you like a bug.
#4. This one's directed to many people on multiple levels. I'm pretty sure we were all taught not to chew with our mouths open. I guess a few of us have forgotten that nice little tip. Everyone has their own food to eat and no one enjoys losing their appetite due to getting grossed out by listening to your food and spit mushin around in your face. Chomp chomp chomp, squish, mush, crunch, smack... none of these are soothing sounds to eat by. Would you mind practicing some manners and maybe maturity? What are we, five?
#5. Common sense is...well, just that. Common sense. What worries me is that common sense is becoming less common and is, instead, a rarity. From personal experience, some people just couldn't take a hint if it walked up behind them and drop kicked them to China. Honey, you need to wake up and realize you're not Baby Jesus, you're not an angel, and you're not perfect. If you understand these basic concepts, I think a huge roadblock will be removed and you might come closer to catching on when someone isn't feeling your vibe. (Just as an example... If someone ignores your every text, yes even the ones you send TWICE a day EVERY day, for 3 weeks...it might mean they don't wanna talk to you.... just a thought.)
Welp that's about it for now, more will come later. :)
TTFN
Ta-Ta For Now :)
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Love Bought at a Price...
Hmmm... Should I be sleeping?... Probably... Am I gonna?.... Naaaaaww :)
So this blog is going to focus mostly on buying love...
Why do i feel the need to purchase love, appreciation, affection? Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of the time that I buy things for people, its because I care, because I want to. But I'm beginning to wonder if sometimes this doesn't stem from a desire within to be valued, loved, admired, appreciated. Giving/buying things for people is my love language. (A large part of it, anyway.) When I buy something for someone they're always (ok, not always) so grateful and appreciative and they talk to me more and it just creates a bond. I must ask myself, however, if that bond is genuine or if it is simply held together by little sheets of green paper. (Yes, I'm aware that money is not actually paper).
I don't just give money, however. There are other things you can give, such as time, energy, etc.
I love to be the person that everyone can go to when they need something. Despite this, I do not want to be the girl who's trampled over and used because she is too naive to see that she is only being used and taken advantage of. I want people to know that I care and that I want to help them. I want to know that they care about me too. But where does one draw the line between healthy giving and feeling the need to give in order to be accepted and loved? Sometimes when you're nose-to-nose with a painting, (or situation) all you can see is dark globs of paint that don't appear to have any order or structure. So how do you stand back from your own life to examine such invisible and illusive issues as your emotions or motives?
You might seek an outside source such as a trusted friend, who knows you well. Even these,however, might not always know what truly lies in the unspoken, uninterrupted depths of your subconscious. (K is it just me or did that sound AWESOME...)
I think the best thing to do is just to realize that people who love you for money, gifts, what you do for them all the time, ... they aren't worth it. No matter how much time, energy, love you invest in them, they're still the same.
Don't fall for the temptation to waste your time on them. It will only end in pain and regret.
Be yourself, do what makes you happy (within reason...obviously...) and be with who makes you smile.
<3
Oh. And on a side note.
Well.
I guess it's more like a.. an end note?
Foot note?
...
Ok.
How about: on another note.
Imagination.
It can be your greatest tool, or your ultimate downfall.
If you let your imagination run wild, it will control you. You must learn to control your own mind or it will run your life.
Using imagination can bring about greatness, success, etc.
But if you let it control you, you'll never achieve the level of success you could have had. You'll spend your life in fear, anger, angst, whatever your mind chooses.
For those of you who know what I'm talking about, well. This is probably for you.
You might think that you have no control but I promise that you do. It will be a challenge and requires time and hard work. But your mind is YOUR mind and you CAN control it.
Anyway... I'm starving and exhausted..
SOO lataa kiddies.
:)
So this blog is going to focus mostly on buying love...
Why do i feel the need to purchase love, appreciation, affection? Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of the time that I buy things for people, its because I care, because I want to. But I'm beginning to wonder if sometimes this doesn't stem from a desire within to be valued, loved, admired, appreciated. Giving/buying things for people is my love language. (A large part of it, anyway.) When I buy something for someone they're always (ok, not always) so grateful and appreciative and they talk to me more and it just creates a bond. I must ask myself, however, if that bond is genuine or if it is simply held together by little sheets of green paper. (Yes, I'm aware that money is not actually paper).
I don't just give money, however. There are other things you can give, such as time, energy, etc.
I love to be the person that everyone can go to when they need something. Despite this, I do not want to be the girl who's trampled over and used because she is too naive to see that she is only being used and taken advantage of. I want people to know that I care and that I want to help them. I want to know that they care about me too. But where does one draw the line between healthy giving and feeling the need to give in order to be accepted and loved? Sometimes when you're nose-to-nose with a painting, (or situation) all you can see is dark globs of paint that don't appear to have any order or structure. So how do you stand back from your own life to examine such invisible and illusive issues as your emotions or motives?
You might seek an outside source such as a trusted friend, who knows you well. Even these,however, might not always know what truly lies in the unspoken, uninterrupted depths of your subconscious. (K is it just me or did that sound AWESOME...)
I think the best thing to do is just to realize that people who love you for money, gifts, what you do for them all the time, ... they aren't worth it. No matter how much time, energy, love you invest in them, they're still the same.
Don't fall for the temptation to waste your time on them. It will only end in pain and regret.
Be yourself, do what makes you happy (within reason...obviously...) and be with who makes you smile.
<3
Oh. And on a side note.
Well.
I guess it's more like a.. an end note?
Foot note?
...
Ok.
How about: on another note.
Imagination.
It can be your greatest tool, or your ultimate downfall.
If you let your imagination run wild, it will control you. You must learn to control your own mind or it will run your life.
Using imagination can bring about greatness, success, etc.
But if you let it control you, you'll never achieve the level of success you could have had. You'll spend your life in fear, anger, angst, whatever your mind chooses.
For those of you who know what I'm talking about, well. This is probably for you.
You might think that you have no control but I promise that you do. It will be a challenge and requires time and hard work. But your mind is YOUR mind and you CAN control it.
Anyway... I'm starving and exhausted..
SOO lataa kiddies.
:)
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Bed?... HA. Naaaaahhh.
I should be going to bed but I'm really in the mood to think, not dream about stealing liquor. (Don't ask.)
Sometimes I could swear that it is the sole goal of the universe to torment me with useless drama. Yes, I'm in highschool but does that mean I need to be involved in so much crap? Seriously, leave me out of stupid little problems that could be solved by growing up. Talk to me when puberty hits. :)
Aside from that lovely note.
Today's topic is on judgmental people.
We all judge to some extent. We're human, it's practically impossible not to make small assumptions about people based on a look, style, whatever.
I'm not saying "Ohh my goodness if you've, like, ever judged someone you're, like, an Ogre!"
But there are those wonderful, supportive, encouraging people who make assumptions to just about everything and who seem to believe that unless you look, dress, act, sound, behave, or believe like they do, you're a piece of garbage to simply be discarded into the abyss of untold individuality.
You might say I'm judging these people. To some extent that may be true. How do we ever know someone until we make a few, simple judgments about their character based on consistent behavior, lifestyles, and choices? Sometimes even your friends judge you. You make a choice they don't agree with and it's "LOOK OUT, jerk alert."
Well.
Your true friends will be the ones who know you, who know what you would/wouldn't do, who will have your back and fight in your corner no matter what. They're the ones who never give up hoping in you. "A true friend understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."
If your friends can't do that, they aren't your friends.
Aaaaand I have now reached the point of zoning and staring and am not able to keep my lil eyeballs open.
Spring break my BUTT. There wasn't much of a break in there.
Well ta-ta sweeties.
Remember.
Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't care about you. Find the ones who will not judge you and who will really love you.
:)
You're worth it!!
<3
Sometimes I could swear that it is the sole goal of the universe to torment me with useless drama. Yes, I'm in highschool but does that mean I need to be involved in so much crap? Seriously, leave me out of stupid little problems that could be solved by growing up. Talk to me when puberty hits. :)
Aside from that lovely note.
Today's topic is on judgmental people.
We all judge to some extent. We're human, it's practically impossible not to make small assumptions about people based on a look, style, whatever.
I'm not saying "Ohh my goodness if you've, like, ever judged someone you're, like, an Ogre!"
But there are those wonderful, supportive, encouraging people who make assumptions to just about everything and who seem to believe that unless you look, dress, act, sound, behave, or believe like they do, you're a piece of garbage to simply be discarded into the abyss of untold individuality.
You might say I'm judging these people. To some extent that may be true. How do we ever know someone until we make a few, simple judgments about their character based on consistent behavior, lifestyles, and choices? Sometimes even your friends judge you. You make a choice they don't agree with and it's "LOOK OUT, jerk alert."
Well.
Your true friends will be the ones who know you, who know what you would/wouldn't do, who will have your back and fight in your corner no matter what. They're the ones who never give up hoping in you. "A true friend understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are."
If your friends can't do that, they aren't your friends.
Aaaaand I have now reached the point of zoning and staring and am not able to keep my lil eyeballs open.
Spring break my BUTT. There wasn't much of a break in there.
Well ta-ta sweeties.
Remember.
Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't care about you. Find the ones who will not judge you and who will really love you.
:)
You're worth it!!
<3
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Baby Seal Shoes (For Derek)
Alright kids. Apparently today's rant is on:
"how the availability of my shoes made from baby seals has dramatically decreased! my feet have never known so much comfort what will i do without them!" Courtesy of Derek.
Well. According to my class, the fact that I lived in Alaska for 15+ years automatically means that I am a baby seal killer.
Well if all Alaskans are baby seal killers then I'm afraid the seal population is severely screwed.
You see, seal skin boots are of immense value all over the world but mostly in Equador. And without the boots their economy would fall apart.
Well Equador has been stealing the boots, leaving fewer and fewer to distribute among American stores, and Colorado has been hit the hardest. Which explains Derek's lack of seal shoes.
Not to mention the fact that the seals are having issues reproducing fast enough to keep up with the hunting. There's a reason they're called seals, not rabbits! O.o
American's should start a petition to save the seals and bring them here. We need our boots! I mean seriously. We have such full lives of laying on the couch and it's impossible to successfully relax on the couch without seal shoes. What has this world come to....
And that, ladies and gents, (or.... critters)
Is my rant on:
"how the availability of my shoes made from baby seals has dramatically decreased! my feet have never know so much comfort what will i do without them!" Courtesy of Derek.
P.S.
Jenna Marbles.... is now my inspiration in life. I was this close *holds up fingers barely apart* to showing some random old creepers THE FACE. They wouldn't stop staring at us!! I regret now, that we didn't use the face but I do plan on testing it's worth in the near future.
That is all.
Goodnight sillies.
<3
"how the availability of my shoes made from baby seals has dramatically decreased! my feet have never known so much comfort what will i do without them!" Courtesy of Derek.
Well. According to my class, the fact that I lived in Alaska for 15+ years automatically means that I am a baby seal killer.
Well if all Alaskans are baby seal killers then I'm afraid the seal population is severely screwed.
You see, seal skin boots are of immense value all over the world but mostly in Equador. And without the boots their economy would fall apart.
Well Equador has been stealing the boots, leaving fewer and fewer to distribute among American stores, and Colorado has been hit the hardest. Which explains Derek's lack of seal shoes.
Not to mention the fact that the seals are having issues reproducing fast enough to keep up with the hunting. There's a reason they're called seals, not rabbits! O.o
American's should start a petition to save the seals and bring them here. We need our boots! I mean seriously. We have such full lives of laying on the couch and it's impossible to successfully relax on the couch without seal shoes. What has this world come to....
And that, ladies and gents, (or.... critters)
Is my rant on:
"how the availability of my shoes made from baby seals has dramatically decreased! my feet have never know so much comfort what will i do without them!" Courtesy of Derek.
P.S.
Jenna Marbles.... is now my inspiration in life. I was this close *holds up fingers barely apart* to showing some random old creepers THE FACE. They wouldn't stop staring at us!! I regret now, that we didn't use the face but I do plan on testing it's worth in the near future.
That is all.
Goodnight sillies.
<3
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Philosophical Crap? .. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO TITLE THIS. Just read it.. :)
Well.
It's been a while since the last time I wrote and a lot has happened!
Lets see....
THESIS = TURNED IN!!!
Aaaaand now it's time to come up with a presentation that doesn't suck too bad and an equally not-too-sucky slideshow.....
yeah like that will happen.
Next.
Do parents plan their pissy days around my schedule just so that it's impossible to relax? I'm pretty sure they do. (So in case you didn't guess, that was rhetorical...)
And now it's time for Manager Answers, a part of the show where I tell you some of the crazy bits of advice I've gotten from my manager. ;)
1. Always keep a bottle of water and a bottle of ketsup in your car in case you get pulled over. Dump the water or a mixture of the two on your lap and start to breathe really fast and "cry" and Viola! Perfect excuse for speeding and a little pity never hurt anybody. :)
~~~~
Has anyone ever tried to tell you how to run your own life? Have they drug you down into their nasty little bog of mushy, dramatic ooze when you could have been totally and completely happy? Have you ever had those people who leave you standing out in the cold, pouring rain, when you really needed a friend? Have you ever felt so confined and restricted in a place that is supposed to be the one area where you can be you? Where you don't have to worry about being judged? Where no one can touch you or hurt you? Have you ever had to hide who you are from the ones you should be able to trust the most? Do you ever look back on the old times and wish with everything you have that you could just rewind time and change everything? Do you ever need to scream from the pain and anger that build up inside of you?
How do you handle it? Are you passive agressive? Self destructive? Violent? Do you stuff it down inside or blast it out on the world?
Do you ever find those really really annoying, self righteous people that you wish you could just slap silly? Sometimes I swear I will go to jail for assault. You can mess with me. Fine. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. But when you mess around with my friends or the people I love, you can bet your self fulfilling, egotistical, stuck up, butt that you will be put in your place.
And what's with the people that count on you to be there but as soon as something comes up in your life they just bail out? No I'm not your back up pal. I'm not your if-no-one-else-can friend. I'm not trying to sound stuck up and say "Omg I need all your attention" But if you expect me to put in the effort, you better put some in as well.
Stress really sucks doesn't it? Well apparently my stress levels have been at an all time high because it turns out the reason that I haven't been able to breathe is due to stress. Isn't that cool? The Dr. says I should go see a therapist... Honey why do you think I'm so stressed? IT'S BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE TIME!
So how in the world am I supposed to find time to go to a therapist to be told what I already know? "Work less hours, breathe deeply, it will all be ok"
Yeah I can't work less, and that's kinda the problem, I can't breathe. And sure. By the time I'm 6 feet under it should all be ok.
I have a part time job. I love it soo much. But part-time isn't for everything sweetie. I don't need part time friends and to be honest, I haven't the time. Life is too short to waste my time on liars, back-stabbers and if-I-feel-like-its.
The past can really suck... But don't worry too much about it because there is a reason that those people have not made it into your future.
You are beautiful just the way you are and you shouldn't have to change for anyone. Beauty is for everyone, not just the rich, not just the people with nice clothes or nice hair. Beauty comes from inside.
And that's basically my rant for right now...
Or my many rants.....
My compilation of random thoughts.
:)
Thanks for reading
<3
It's been a while since the last time I wrote and a lot has happened!
Lets see....
THESIS = TURNED IN!!!
Aaaaand now it's time to come up with a presentation that doesn't suck too bad and an equally not-too-sucky slideshow.....
yeah like that will happen.
Next.
Do parents plan their pissy days around my schedule just so that it's impossible to relax? I'm pretty sure they do. (So in case you didn't guess, that was rhetorical...)
And now it's time for Manager Answers, a part of the show where I tell you some of the crazy bits of advice I've gotten from my manager. ;)
1. Always keep a bottle of water and a bottle of ketsup in your car in case you get pulled over. Dump the water or a mixture of the two on your lap and start to breathe really fast and "cry" and Viola! Perfect excuse for speeding and a little pity never hurt anybody. :)
~~~~
Has anyone ever tried to tell you how to run your own life? Have they drug you down into their nasty little bog of mushy, dramatic ooze when you could have been totally and completely happy? Have you ever had those people who leave you standing out in the cold, pouring rain, when you really needed a friend? Have you ever felt so confined and restricted in a place that is supposed to be the one area where you can be you? Where you don't have to worry about being judged? Where no one can touch you or hurt you? Have you ever had to hide who you are from the ones you should be able to trust the most? Do you ever look back on the old times and wish with everything you have that you could just rewind time and change everything? Do you ever need to scream from the pain and anger that build up inside of you?
How do you handle it? Are you passive agressive? Self destructive? Violent? Do you stuff it down inside or blast it out on the world?
Do you ever find those really really annoying, self righteous people that you wish you could just slap silly? Sometimes I swear I will go to jail for assault. You can mess with me. Fine. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. But when you mess around with my friends or the people I love, you can bet your self fulfilling, egotistical, stuck up, butt that you will be put in your place.
And what's with the people that count on you to be there but as soon as something comes up in your life they just bail out? No I'm not your back up pal. I'm not your if-no-one-else-can friend. I'm not trying to sound stuck up and say "Omg I need all your attention" But if you expect me to put in the effort, you better put some in as well.
Stress really sucks doesn't it? Well apparently my stress levels have been at an all time high because it turns out the reason that I haven't been able to breathe is due to stress. Isn't that cool? The Dr. says I should go see a therapist... Honey why do you think I'm so stressed? IT'S BECAUSE I NEVER HAVE TIME!
So how in the world am I supposed to find time to go to a therapist to be told what I already know? "Work less hours, breathe deeply, it will all be ok"
Yeah I can't work less, and that's kinda the problem, I can't breathe. And sure. By the time I'm 6 feet under it should all be ok.
I have a part time job. I love it soo much. But part-time isn't for everything sweetie. I don't need part time friends and to be honest, I haven't the time. Life is too short to waste my time on liars, back-stabbers and if-I-feel-like-its.
The past can really suck... But don't worry too much about it because there is a reason that those people have not made it into your future.
You are beautiful just the way you are and you shouldn't have to change for anyone. Beauty is for everyone, not just the rich, not just the people with nice clothes or nice hair. Beauty comes from inside.
And that's basically my rant for right now...
Or my many rants.....
My compilation of random thoughts.
:)
Thanks for reading
<3
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Retreat!
Well it's been awhile. There's been a lot of interesting things happening. Most of them aren't the kinds of things that the internet world is really interested in knowing, but they're filling up my head.
You know that creepy icy feeling in the pit of your stomach that arrives with adrenaline? Yeah well that's almost all I've felt for the past few days. Sometimes adrenaline feels great but not when its constant.... and makes you want to pass out and barf. Not too cool.
I really don't know how all of this is gonna work out.
Do you ever feel paranoid, scared, claustrophobic, etc all at the same time? Do you question your own motives? Do you worry that you don't actually know what you want? Do you want one thing at one time and something completely opposite the next second? None of these things are great, but none of them are even tolerable in relationships. Just in case you weren't aware of that. You'd think, being you, that you would know what you want. But it's like there are two sides to people and one part of you doesn't agree with the other part of you...
This makes NO sense....
Oh well!
I think it's time to retreat back into my shell. Things don't seem to go too well when i poke my head out.
I happen to enjoy my peaceful quiet.
hm.
If you read this, I'm impressed. If you understood it, woah... hero status! haha
I feel like writing a song... I think I shall.
You know that creepy icy feeling in the pit of your stomach that arrives with adrenaline? Yeah well that's almost all I've felt for the past few days. Sometimes adrenaline feels great but not when its constant.... and makes you want to pass out and barf. Not too cool.
I really don't know how all of this is gonna work out.
Do you ever feel paranoid, scared, claustrophobic, etc all at the same time? Do you question your own motives? Do you worry that you don't actually know what you want? Do you want one thing at one time and something completely opposite the next second? None of these things are great, but none of them are even tolerable in relationships. Just in case you weren't aware of that. You'd think, being you, that you would know what you want. But it's like there are two sides to people and one part of you doesn't agree with the other part of you...
This makes NO sense....
Oh well!
I think it's time to retreat back into my shell. Things don't seem to go too well when i poke my head out.
I happen to enjoy my peaceful quiet.
hm.
If you read this, I'm impressed. If you understood it, woah... hero status! haha
I feel like writing a song... I think I shall.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
EKG....yucky
Well I've been having a lot of trouble with breathing lately, for those of you who have been asking. I finally went in to the doctor today. She gave me a list of a few things it could be:
1. Something with my heart. -- She ordered an EKG
2. Something with my chest -- She ordered an X-Ray. (We didn't do that one today.)
3. Some weird form of indigestion? -- yeah RIGHT
4. Panic attacks -- honestly, that's probably it.
So we did the EKG today; I really doubt that it's something with my heart but I guess it could be.
Welp.
That's happy. :P
I really need something good to blog about... I had a wonderful idea but i forgot it :( meehhhhh i'm tired. i'll blog later. but that's the scoop with my breathin! lataaaaa
1. Something with my heart. -- She ordered an EKG
2. Something with my chest -- She ordered an X-Ray. (We didn't do that one today.)
3. Some weird form of indigestion? -- yeah RIGHT
4. Panic attacks -- honestly, that's probably it.
So we did the EKG today; I really doubt that it's something with my heart but I guess it could be.
Welp.
That's happy. :P
I really need something good to blog about... I had a wonderful idea but i forgot it :( meehhhhh i'm tired. i'll blog later. but that's the scoop with my breathin! lataaaaa
Monday, February 6, 2012
Players VS Men/Women
My definition of a real man: a male who is firm in his beliefs, mature, (that doesn't mean he can't ever act silly and crazy), responsible, defends what he knows to be right, respectful.
Player: disrespectful punk who toys with hearts and feelings for their own pleasure. male OR female.
I kind of just have to laugh at guys who call themselves men when they 1. don't know how to treat a woman with respect, 2. don't know how to treat ANYONE with respect, 3. don't have set values or opinions and just go with whatever anyone says.
The same goes for women. Anyone who uses someone else's feelings to their advantage, flits around doing what they please with no regard for the well-being of those involved, who treats people like crap just because they can... these people seriously piss me off.
There are reasons why people build walls. Why would you spend SO much time trying to get inside those walls if you don't even care what's inside? ....
God forbid I ever do that to anyone.
I would rather rip out my toenails one by one.
hm....
I'm really not sure what that was about but....
That's my rant for the day.
Lataaaa
Player: disrespectful punk who toys with hearts and feelings for their own pleasure. male OR female.
I kind of just have to laugh at guys who call themselves men when they 1. don't know how to treat a woman with respect, 2. don't know how to treat ANYONE with respect, 3. don't have set values or opinions and just go with whatever anyone says.
The same goes for women. Anyone who uses someone else's feelings to their advantage, flits around doing what they please with no regard for the well-being of those involved, who treats people like crap just because they can... these people seriously piss me off.
There are reasons why people build walls. Why would you spend SO much time trying to get inside those walls if you don't even care what's inside? ....
God forbid I ever do that to anyone.
I would rather rip out my toenails one by one.
hm....
I'm really not sure what that was about but....
That's my rant for the day.
Lataaaa
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Funny Quotes
So this is mostly just going to be a compilation of some of my favorite quotes :)
"Aint none of my weapons made by concealed they all made by smith and wesson." Madea
"I'll shove that phone so far down your throat you'll have to call 911 wit' yo navel!"
Madea
"I keeps me a piece of steel [pulls out gun] load your steel thank ya jesus!"
Madea
"Every time I try to read the Bible... and Jesus... the one with all the words in red... I open my Bible to that New Testimonial and see all that red and I just give up. Jesus was talkin' way too much."
Madea
"Well when you gettin got to somebody that got you and you got get them when you get them everyone gonna get got!"
Madea
***Notice how all of these are from Madea?.... Yeah she's my inspiration....***
"Cooka big pot of grits, bring him into the kitchen, then toss the grits on him. Then after you toss them, swat him with a frying pan. You gotta get you a good balanced weight, toss and swat, toss and swat, Venus and Serena, that's called grit ball."
Madea
"She don't know me. I'm a straight-up thug. I shot Tupac. Yes, I did. We was arguing over a parking place. I didn't kill him, though. No, that wasn't me."
Madea
Shawn Spencer: Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman's ball?
Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response to that.
Psych
Shawn Spencer: Besides, this is a real-life television studio, Gus. What could be better?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Eating my breakfast. I was having a poached egg with hollandaise sauce on an English muffin.
Shawn Spencer: Look, we'll solve it up quick. You'll be home in no time.
[pretends to answer phone]
Shawn Spencer: Hello? Darn Judi Dench called. She wants her breakfast back.
Psych
Receptionist: There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Crunch?
Shawn Spencer: [enters, dressed in a Civil War uniform] Actually, I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.
Psych
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I work here!
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.
Psych
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua. I have a foolproof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: What is it?
Shawn Spencer: Actually, all I have is the phrase "I have a foolproof plan." Beyond that, I'm wide open.
Gus: How should we introduce ourselves? Don't say "psychic," they'll shut you off. Pick something vague, like Alternative Tactics Division.
Shawn Spencer: How about the Bureau of Magic and Spell Casting?
Shawn: Ahh!
Gus: Shhh!
Shawn: I'm so sorry my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you.
Gus: (about the spelling bee) I tried to get tickets, but you've got to know somebody.
Shawn: Somebody lame.
Shawn: Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie!
"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao Tzu
She said that she wanted to cut herself.
When a girls calls you adorable, she thinks of you like a cute little brother. When a girl asks for your number, she likes you like a friend. When she asks a friend for your number, she likes you a lot. when a girl says she got over you but wont talk to you when you pass by, she's hurting.
Jack Sparrow: No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth Swann: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?!
Language of a Teenage Girl
Fine- Completely pissed.
Five minutes- Half an hour.
Nothing- Something.
Just tired- I'm upset, hug me.
Go ahead- Don't even think about it.
Thanks- This apology is legit.
Thanks a lot- This apology sucks.
Nice- Not nice.
There are 7 continents, 193 countries, 50 states, 4 oceans, 9 planets........... and I had the unfortunate luck to meet you.
You see that girl?
yeah, she's the one who stuck up for you.
The one who stayed up until midnight, just to talk to you.
She's the one whose heart flutters when she gets,
a call or text from you. She's one who fought for
you, the one that missed and loved you.
By the time you realize that she's the girl you want...
She'll already be with the guy who figured it out.
Unless your name is google... STOP ACTING LIKE YOU FREAKIN KNOW EVERYTHING
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you've never met
Tell me I can't and I will push harder.
Tell me I won't and I will prove you wrong.
Tell me I shouldn't and I will need to try.
Hold on to my mistakes and I will push you away.
BUT tell me I can and you will be my hero.
Believe in me and you will be invaluable.
Give me wisdom and I will strive to accept it.
Look past my mistakes and you will be in my heart forever.
<3
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched; they must be felt with the heart.
AAAAAND I'm extremely tired... maybe more later?
meh
Nightt kiddies
<3
"Aint none of my weapons made by concealed they all made by smith and wesson." Madea
"I'll shove that phone so far down your throat you'll have to call 911 wit' yo navel!"
Madea
"I keeps me a piece of steel [pulls out gun] load your steel thank ya jesus!"
Madea
"Every time I try to read the Bible... and Jesus... the one with all the words in red... I open my Bible to that New Testimonial and see all that red and I just give up. Jesus was talkin' way too much."
Madea
"Well when you gettin got to somebody that got you and you got get them when you get them everyone gonna get got!"
Madea
***Notice how all of these are from Madea?.... Yeah she's my inspiration....***
"Cooka big pot of grits, bring him into the kitchen, then toss the grits on him. Then after you toss them, swat him with a frying pan. You gotta get you a good balanced weight, toss and swat, toss and swat, Venus and Serena, that's called grit ball."
Madea
"She don't know me. I'm a straight-up thug. I shot Tupac. Yes, I did. We was arguing over a parking place. I didn't kill him, though. No, that wasn't me."
Madea
Shawn Spencer: Good morning detectives, collecting money for the Policeman's ball?
Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response to that.
Psych
Shawn Spencer: Besides, this is a real-life television studio, Gus. What could be better?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Eating my breakfast. I was having a poached egg with hollandaise sauce on an English muffin.
Shawn Spencer: Look, we'll solve it up quick. You'll be home in no time.
[pretends to answer phone]
Shawn Spencer: Hello? Darn Judi Dench called. She wants her breakfast back.
Psych
Receptionist: There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Crunch?
Shawn Spencer: [enters, dressed in a Civil War uniform] Actually, I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.
Psych
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I work here!
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.
Psych
Shawn Spencer: Gus, don't be a myopic chihuahua. I have a foolproof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: What is it?
Shawn Spencer: Actually, all I have is the phrase "I have a foolproof plan." Beyond that, I'm wide open.
Gus: How should we introduce ourselves? Don't say "psychic," they'll shut you off. Pick something vague, like Alternative Tactics Division.
Shawn Spencer: How about the Bureau of Magic and Spell Casting?
Shawn: Ahh!
Gus: Shhh!
Shawn: I'm so sorry my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you.
Gus: (about the spelling bee) I tried to get tickets, but you've got to know somebody.
Shawn: Somebody lame.
Shawn: Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie!
"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao Tzu
She said that she wanted to cut herself.
He took a Polaroid of her, handed it to Her along with scissors, and had her cut it up.
She said that she wanted to stay up All night and drink.
He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said "drink up."
She said that she wanted to shoot Herself in the face.
He gave her a water gun, put her finger On the trigger, aimed it at her face, and Helped her pull the trigger.
She said that she wanted to get high.
He took her to the tallest hill in town.
She said that she wanted to see her blood.
He took her to get her ears pierced.
She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep.
He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed.
She said that she wanted to be alone.
He gave her a name tag that said "my Name is: alone."
She said that she wanted to have someone there To take care of her, always.
He asked when he wasn't…
When a girls calls you adorable, she thinks of you like a cute little brother. When a girl asks for your number, she likes you like a friend. When she asks a friend for your number, she likes you a lot. when a girl says she got over you but wont talk to you when you pass by, she's hurting. Jack Sparrow: No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth Swann: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?!
Language of a Teenage Girl
Fine- Completely pissed.
Five minutes- Half an hour.
Nothing- Something.
Just tired- I'm upset, hug me.
Go ahead- Don't even think about it.
Thanks- This apology is legit.
Thanks a lot- This apology sucks.
Nice- Not nice.
There are 7 continents, 193 countries, 50 states, 4 oceans, 9 planets........... and I had the unfortunate luck to meet you.
You see that girl?
yeah, she's the one who stuck up for you.
The one who stayed up until midnight, just to talk to you.
She's the one whose heart flutters when she gets,
a call or text from you. She's one who fought for
you, the one that missed and loved you.
By the time you realize that she's the girl you want...
She'll already be with the guy who figured it out.
Unless your name is google... STOP ACTING LIKE YOU FREAKIN KNOW EVERYTHING
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you've never met
Tell me I can't and I will push harder.
Tell me I won't and I will prove you wrong.
Tell me I shouldn't and I will need to try.
Hold on to my mistakes and I will push you away.
BUT tell me I can and you will be my hero.
Believe in me and you will be invaluable.
Give me wisdom and I will strive to accept it.
Look past my mistakes and you will be in my heart forever.
<3
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched; they must be felt with the heart.
AAAAAND I'm extremely tired... maybe more later?
meh
Nightt kiddies
<3
Friday, January 27, 2012
Happy cute and mushy... ICK
Well I promised I'd write about something happy and cute and mushy and gross like that... I guess I can write about the book I'm reading? I've read it before and its definitely interesting. For sure. Red Tulips apparently mean: Declaration of Love and this guy always gives her red tulips. More like he makes them magically appear... it's awesome.. trust me there's a TON more to the story than that... but I think that's my favorite part. :) she thinks they're just an attention device but she finds out later.. hee :)
K was that cute and mush and gross enough? I hope so. I'm most definitely not in the cute mood right now. I feel more... blunt, grumpy, dark. I dunno. :)
I always laugh when people who treat you poorly act so surprised to learn that you're upset about it, or when you decided the heck with that and don't talk to them. "whaaaat?? wait i thought i was soo important!" haha no. not if you're gonna be like that hon... sorry.
sigh....
babysitting tonight with christy! fun!!
coming home to be chewed out tomorrow morning.....
not so fun....
those "discussions" usually end up in me getting lectured and not believed and usually end up making me feel like a horrible, unlovable person. So that'll be a great start to my day :)
woot.
Well off to babysit kiddies and a dog and 2 rats! wooooot :)
I'm excited :)
K was that cute and mush and gross enough? I hope so. I'm most definitely not in the cute mood right now. I feel more... blunt, grumpy, dark. I dunno. :)
I always laugh when people who treat you poorly act so surprised to learn that you're upset about it, or when you decided the heck with that and don't talk to them. "whaaaat?? wait i thought i was soo important!" haha no. not if you're gonna be like that hon... sorry.
sigh....
babysitting tonight with christy! fun!!
coming home to be chewed out tomorrow morning.....
not so fun....
those "discussions" usually end up in me getting lectured and not believed and usually end up making me feel like a horrible, unlovable person. So that'll be a great start to my day :)
woot.
Well off to babysit kiddies and a dog and 2 rats! wooooot :)
I'm excited :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
New Blog! About time.
Well the past few days/ weeks have been.... interesting to say the least...
I'm not exactly impressed with guys right now. They're not so super duper. At least not all. Shout out to Josh, though, for making my day today (which was weird because he's usually a punk haha). Yes. Random hugs really are enough to make my day.
I'm scared to graduate. I'm soo ready to be rid of all the annoying high school drama. But I'm going to miss the people. I've spent time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears with these people and have invested so much of myself into them it's hard to even see who I am without them.
But yeah high school drama is getting really old. I just want to live a nice peaceful life. :( (im so old.)
So if that's ok with you, take your drama elsewhere and leave me out of it. I have no interest in pretending I'm still in seventh grade. :)
And here's another thing: if you say you're going to be there for someone... (this might be a long shot for some of you) try actually being there! Shocker... Sticking around is the least you can do.
I really need a job. And part-time jobs are fantastic. But the thing is... with looking for a job and thesis and work and etc etc etc... I really don't have any time for part time people so people should hurry up and make their decisions. You're with me or you're not, don't waste my time with "maybe" "later" or "sometimes".
Another thing: venting and gossip. Lets get this straight. There is a time to vent and unload stress. But keep it within people that you trust because having yours (and probably someone else's crap) spread all over the place isn't going to help anyone.
And last. Don't lie to me. The worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you weren't worth the truth. And I usually find out soo... Don't risk it... :)
Well that's about it for now. Sorry it was a little grumpy and rant-ish... buuuut you don't have to like it.. haha
I promise next time I'll write about something happy and cute and mushy and icky like that.
Later children! :)
<3
I'm not exactly impressed with guys right now. They're not so super duper. At least not all. Shout out to Josh, though, for making my day today (which was weird because he's usually a punk haha). Yes. Random hugs really are enough to make my day.
I'm scared to graduate. I'm soo ready to be rid of all the annoying high school drama. But I'm going to miss the people. I've spent time, energy, blood, sweat, and tears with these people and have invested so much of myself into them it's hard to even see who I am without them.
But yeah high school drama is getting really old. I just want to live a nice peaceful life. :( (im so old.)
So if that's ok with you, take your drama elsewhere and leave me out of it. I have no interest in pretending I'm still in seventh grade. :)
And here's another thing: if you say you're going to be there for someone... (this might be a long shot for some of you) try actually being there! Shocker... Sticking around is the least you can do.
I really need a job. And part-time jobs are fantastic. But the thing is... with looking for a job and thesis and work and etc etc etc... I really don't have any time for part time people so people should hurry up and make their decisions. You're with me or you're not, don't waste my time with "maybe" "later" or "sometimes".
Another thing: venting and gossip. Lets get this straight. There is a time to vent and unload stress. But keep it within people that you trust because having yours (and probably someone else's crap) spread all over the place isn't going to help anyone.
And last. Don't lie to me. The worst thing about being lied to is knowing that you weren't worth the truth. And I usually find out soo... Don't risk it... :)
Well that's about it for now. Sorry it was a little grumpy and rant-ish... buuuut you don't have to like it.. haha
I promise next time I'll write about something happy and cute and mushy and icky like that.
Later children! :)
<3
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Big Brothers
So last night created some interesting discussion. Natalie, Ben, Ian, Meghan, Lauren, Zach and I all stayed and got deep after everyone left Natalie's party. We discussed dating; our definitions, when it's ok to date, when it's better not to, how to handle it, yadayada.. It was really insightful and I pretty much agree with most everything everybody said. Fun night:) I love hearing the words of wisdom from the people in my class. Even if I feel inferior sometimes. Haha.
So I was going to hit off of that but I'm a little tired out of the dating topic and pretty much said all I thought about it last night sooo maybe later.
What's been in my head today is actually big brothers.
Guys, I know that you're going to have fights and disagreements with your sisters sometimes. I know, first hand, that girls can be really annoying sometimes. I get annoyed with myself for being girly sometimes, k? I get it. :)
But you may not realize what a huge impact you have on their lives. They look up to you for what to expect in a guy, for advice, for protection, for an example. They may act like they don't like you, don't value your opinion. They may pretend they don't care what you think of them. But believe me, they care. You have a power so unlike anyone else in their lives. Big brothers are supposed to be the ones a girl can go to when no one else will listen, when she doesn't know what to do, when she's scared and hurting. Some little sisters may not come to you but they watch you. And some day they will grow up and realize what an influence you had on their lives. Never underestimate your influence, your power. They say you can compliment a girl and she may disagree or blow it off but if you insult her, those words will hurt her and haunt her and she will remember them forever. And that's pretty much true. She may not let on but if you tell her she looks pretty, it means the world. If you tell her she's annoying or whatever, it cuts her deeply and hurts your relationship.
I'm not saying you can never be open and honest with how you feel but be gentle with her, guys. She's not perfect and even if she pretends to be the Queen of Shiba, she knows she's messed up, she knows she's made mistakes, she gets it. Every girl should be treated with respect and love. There are many that don't deserve it but we all know that we deserve to die and yet, here we are. We have been shown grace, and we should show grace to others.
*pause* SISTERS:
That includes you. You need to show respect for your big brothers; they are an authority figure in your lives. Especially if they are in tune with what God has to say and they are Christ-focused they are your superior (whether you like it or not...).
Guys are supposed to be MEN. And they are told that they are to have no emotion, be big be bold be proud. Bla bla bla. But you can hurt them. They're not some impenetrable fortress with no emotion and no feelings. They conceal them a lot and put on a brave face but they are human too. Love your big brothers, girls. There are a million girls on the planet who would kill to have an older brother looking out for them. And for the girls who don't have a good relationship with their older brothers: I am very sorry.
Back to the guys:
It's easy to get so involved in other things that you don't have time for your family, or just don't want to take the time. But it means the world if you try. Sometimes girls act indifferent or snobby but if you make an effort to spend time with them or go out of your way to say something nice, it stews in their minds and they'll think about that for a long time and eventually it may soften them.
And I'm a realist. Actually more often a pessimist. So I'm very aware that relationships are broken all around the world. Some brothers hate their sisters and ignore them, hurt them, etc. Some sisters antagonize their brothers and beat them down. But every relationship is worth working for. Even if nothing comes of it for years, siblings have an unbreakable bond that no one else can truly understand. It's between you and your sibling. But it's worth fighting for.
So that's my rant for the day. :)
<3
So I was going to hit off of that but I'm a little tired out of the dating topic and pretty much said all I thought about it last night sooo maybe later.
What's been in my head today is actually big brothers.
Guys, I know that you're going to have fights and disagreements with your sisters sometimes. I know, first hand, that girls can be really annoying sometimes. I get annoyed with myself for being girly sometimes, k? I get it. :)
But you may not realize what a huge impact you have on their lives. They look up to you for what to expect in a guy, for advice, for protection, for an example. They may act like they don't like you, don't value your opinion. They may pretend they don't care what you think of them. But believe me, they care. You have a power so unlike anyone else in their lives. Big brothers are supposed to be the ones a girl can go to when no one else will listen, when she doesn't know what to do, when she's scared and hurting. Some little sisters may not come to you but they watch you. And some day they will grow up and realize what an influence you had on their lives. Never underestimate your influence, your power. They say you can compliment a girl and she may disagree or blow it off but if you insult her, those words will hurt her and haunt her and she will remember them forever. And that's pretty much true. She may not let on but if you tell her she looks pretty, it means the world. If you tell her she's annoying or whatever, it cuts her deeply and hurts your relationship.
I'm not saying you can never be open and honest with how you feel but be gentle with her, guys. She's not perfect and even if she pretends to be the Queen of Shiba, she knows she's messed up, she knows she's made mistakes, she gets it. Every girl should be treated with respect and love. There are many that don't deserve it but we all know that we deserve to die and yet, here we are. We have been shown grace, and we should show grace to others.
*pause* SISTERS:
That includes you. You need to show respect for your big brothers; they are an authority figure in your lives. Especially if they are in tune with what God has to say and they are Christ-focused they are your superior (whether you like it or not...).
Guys are supposed to be MEN. And they are told that they are to have no emotion, be big be bold be proud. Bla bla bla. But you can hurt them. They're not some impenetrable fortress with no emotion and no feelings. They conceal them a lot and put on a brave face but they are human too. Love your big brothers, girls. There are a million girls on the planet who would kill to have an older brother looking out for them. And for the girls who don't have a good relationship with their older brothers: I am very sorry.
Back to the guys:
It's easy to get so involved in other things that you don't have time for your family, or just don't want to take the time. But it means the world if you try. Sometimes girls act indifferent or snobby but if you make an effort to spend time with them or go out of your way to say something nice, it stews in their minds and they'll think about that for a long time and eventually it may soften them.
And I'm a realist. Actually more often a pessimist. So I'm very aware that relationships are broken all around the world. Some brothers hate their sisters and ignore them, hurt them, etc. Some sisters antagonize their brothers and beat them down. But every relationship is worth working for. Even if nothing comes of it for years, siblings have an unbreakable bond that no one else can truly understand. It's between you and your sibling. But it's worth fighting for.
So that's my rant for the day. :)
<3
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Well that was pleasant...
Ben was totally right. It feels weird not blogging every day.. I was gonna two days ago but I was gone nerding it up on Lord of the Rings with mah buddies :) And then yesterday I ended up going to the HCA games. WHICH we totally owned. So yes.
Monday: All day movie marathon. Get home and parents take my phone because I forgot to do something over the weekend. :( at least it was only for the night and the next day so now i'm ok haha
Tuesday: boring, non eventful, meh. I was craving my phone. haha games were aaaamazing.
Which brings us to today.
Boring.. But yearbook party was legit. Suuuper funny. We had discussions about cuddle buddies ;) And poor little Aaron turned a bright pretty shade of pink.
And other than that I'm not really in the mood for writing a ton... I'm kindof in the mood to be a bum.
I really wish I had an accent... I can do Auzzie pretty well but if I start thinking about it too much I start to switch back and forth between Australian and British... which is a problemm.
But even still. Auzzie= faaaantastic. Someday I'm marrying an Auzzie boy. HEECK to the yes.
aaanyway.
Senior thesis procrastination.... probably not a good idea..
I don't even have my expert yet...
stress level = through the roof.
Preeetty positive I'm going to have a heart attack. :)
whoopie.
Well ta-ta kiddos :)
Monday: All day movie marathon. Get home and parents take my phone because I forgot to do something over the weekend. :( at least it was only for the night and the next day so now i'm ok haha
Tuesday: boring, non eventful, meh. I was craving my phone. haha games were aaaamazing.
Which brings us to today.
Boring.. But yearbook party was legit. Suuuper funny. We had discussions about cuddle buddies ;) And poor little Aaron turned a bright pretty shade of pink.
And other than that I'm not really in the mood for writing a ton... I'm kindof in the mood to be a bum.
I really wish I had an accent... I can do Auzzie pretty well but if I start thinking about it too much I start to switch back and forth between Australian and British... which is a problemm.
But even still. Auzzie= faaaantastic. Someday I'm marrying an Auzzie boy. HEECK to the yes.
aaanyway.
Senior thesis procrastination.... probably not a good idea..
I don't even have my expert yet...
stress level = through the roof.
Preeetty positive I'm going to have a heart attack. :)
whoopie.
Well ta-ta kiddos :)
Sunday, January 8, 2012
The Bookworm Shrivles...
So I'm a bookworm. Hardcore. Over this break (somewhere around 3 weeks) I finished a novel that I was halfway through...
And read 5 more.... :)
2 of which were read in a single day each.
Not that I'm bragging about my nerdiness... :)
SO anyway.
I read one today. And it was pretty fascinating! It's about this young girl who grows up seeing faeries and all the horrible things they do to each other and to other, unknowing humans. Most humans can't see them... her and her grandmother can. And fey are very dangerous.
So she avoids them and acts like she can't see them.
But the Summer King and the Winter Girl (paathetic name...)
start following her and she doesn't understand why but basically she fins out:
There's a creepy Winter Queen. She's the mother of the Summer King. She killed the original Summer King (the father of her son). She discovered she had a son and put a clamp on his powers until he finds a Summer Queen. Only one problem: She's constantly working against him to make sure he doesn't find her. He's searched for over 900 years and each one he thinks might be his queen must go through The Test. She must raise the scepter of the Winter Queen. If she's the Summer Queen she will not be harmed. If she's not... she's screwed and frozen to become the Winter Girl until the next mortal girl decides she loves Keenan (the summer king) enough to risk it. If she refuses she becomes a Summer Girl. (Summed up quickly they're like the blonde ditzes we all get so irritated with. They live for fun and pleasure, no thoughts of their own, only serving Keenan.) And if the girls refuse him all together, since being "chosen" turns them into a Summer Fey, to refuse him and ignore him and leave, means death.
So Ash (the girl) is basically screwed :)
Her boyfriend isn't too thrilled either but he tries his best to help her...
All in all the storyline was definitely unique and intriguing.
But
BEWARE. I'M GOING TO SPOIL THE ENDING SO HOPEFULLY NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO READ THE BOOK. (ESPECIALLY SINCE MOST OF Y'ALL ARE GUYS... I'D BE WORRIED... WRITING IN CAPS IS FUN:) )
She accepts her roll as Summer Queen, they kill the stupid creepy annoying Winter Queen and she's replaced with someone good. The Winter Girl whom Keenan is still in love with.
Keenan is adorable to Ash but nooo she's stuck on her stupid boyfriend (who's actually adorable but... Keenan is so much cooler!!!)
SO THEY END UP SEPARATE!! they're "friends" ruling an entire other world??? WHAT COMPLETE AND UTTER CRAP.
I'm very very irritated at wasting an entire Sunday reading this amazing book to find out the ending is trash. TRASH.
So very anticlimactic and UNromantic :(
Sigh....
**NOTE TO SELF: Listen to Natalie when she says you'll probably hate the ending of a book. She's usually very very right.**
Ugh.... :( :( :(
Well anyway.....
I've ranted. I've raged. I've whined. I'm good now :)
Tomorrow is gonner be so fun!!! Movie marathon ALLL day long with some of the bestest people on the stinkin' PLANET. :)
WOOT!
Oh and byy the way I accidentally died but then Caleb saved me with his magic so no need to worry :) Just so y'all know :)
Ta-ta kiddies :)
<3
And read 5 more.... :)
2 of which were read in a single day each.
Not that I'm bragging about my nerdiness... :)
SO anyway.
I read one today. And it was pretty fascinating! It's about this young girl who grows up seeing faeries and all the horrible things they do to each other and to other, unknowing humans. Most humans can't see them... her and her grandmother can. And fey are very dangerous.
So she avoids them and acts like she can't see them.
But the Summer King and the Winter Girl (paathetic name...)
start following her and she doesn't understand why but basically she fins out:
There's a creepy Winter Queen. She's the mother of the Summer King. She killed the original Summer King (the father of her son). She discovered she had a son and put a clamp on his powers until he finds a Summer Queen. Only one problem: She's constantly working against him to make sure he doesn't find her. He's searched for over 900 years and each one he thinks might be his queen must go through The Test. She must raise the scepter of the Winter Queen. If she's the Summer Queen she will not be harmed. If she's not... she's screwed and frozen to become the Winter Girl until the next mortal girl decides she loves Keenan (the summer king) enough to risk it. If she refuses she becomes a Summer Girl. (Summed up quickly they're like the blonde ditzes we all get so irritated with. They live for fun and pleasure, no thoughts of their own, only serving Keenan.) And if the girls refuse him all together, since being "chosen" turns them into a Summer Fey, to refuse him and ignore him and leave, means death.
So Ash (the girl) is basically screwed :)
Her boyfriend isn't too thrilled either but he tries his best to help her...
All in all the storyline was definitely unique and intriguing.
But
BEWARE. I'M GOING TO SPOIL THE ENDING SO HOPEFULLY NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO READ THE BOOK. (ESPECIALLY SINCE MOST OF Y'ALL ARE GUYS... I'D BE WORRIED... WRITING IN CAPS IS FUN:) )
She accepts her roll as Summer Queen, they kill the stupid creepy annoying Winter Queen and she's replaced with someone good. The Winter Girl whom Keenan is still in love with.
Keenan is adorable to Ash but nooo she's stuck on her stupid boyfriend (who's actually adorable but... Keenan is so much cooler!!!)
SO THEY END UP SEPARATE!! they're "friends" ruling an entire other world??? WHAT COMPLETE AND UTTER CRAP.
I'm very very irritated at wasting an entire Sunday reading this amazing book to find out the ending is trash. TRASH.
So very anticlimactic and UNromantic :(
Sigh....
**NOTE TO SELF: Listen to Natalie when she says you'll probably hate the ending of a book. She's usually very very right.**
Ugh.... :( :( :(
Well anyway.....
I've ranted. I've raged. I've whined. I'm good now :)
Tomorrow is gonner be so fun!!! Movie marathon ALLL day long with some of the bestest people on the stinkin' PLANET. :)
WOOT!
Oh and byy the way I accidentally died but then Caleb saved me with his magic so no need to worry :) Just so y'all know :)
Ta-ta kiddies :)
<3
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Polar Bears
Well I was completely unsure of what to blog on today so I requested the assistance of my bestbuddy Caleb. When he said to blog about polar bears my first thought was FACEPALM.
BUT then my mind started swimming with all of the wonderful things to rag on about polar bears.
Everyone thinks they're so cute and cuddly and adorable and we need to save them and bla bla BLA. Wellllllll let me explain some-ting to ju.
Polar bears are vicious. They are not the cute little fluffy things you imagine petting and riding on. Or like that dumb movie The Compass or whatever. You don't ride them! They'll bite your face off the moment they can!
Out of all bears the polar bear is the most fierce and dangerous.
And then there's all this crap about global warming killing polar bears ...
:'( boo hoo hoo.
If they're stupid enough to get stuck on a little ice cube instead of going inland with the rest of the ice, then it's lack of evolution that's killing them. IF global warming were even real... WHICH IT'S NOT. If the earth is getting warmer someone needs to inform my toes because they're CONSTANTLY freezing. And try feeding the global warming crap to Alaskans. They'll laugh in your face before dumping you in the snow outside their window. Global warming my butt.
But if its not global warming, PETA will think of some other cause for the "dissappearance" of polar bears... (whatever).
You know what I think it is?
All the Coca-Cola they apparently drink/
That stuff can't possibly be good for animals can it??
I think we should steal it back.
Although.... just on the shot that MAYBE global warming is killing them and taking their homes... we really shouldn't be working so hard to stop it because when the ice melts, the bottles of deliciousness fall into the ocean and eventually make their way to the shores of Africa and refresh the poor orphans!
gasp!!
PETA's attempts at saving the polar bears and stopping global warming isn't for the bears! It's to save the Coca-Cola for themselves!! I knew I didn't like them...
Welp.
We know where the bears are going...
PETA is secretly killing them for their Cola and eating them...
Yikes!
People for the Eating of Tasty Animals....
So true...
hm... who knew a rant about fuzzy fluffballs could unlock an international scheme!! :O
on a side note....
MY POPCORN IS AMAZZZZING.
not that I'm bragging....
I'm sleepy... and I'm in the middle of a crisis...
There's nothin' like dealin' with creepers! woot.
Ta-ta sillies!
And thanks to Caleb for helping to uncover the Polar bear murder ring! Call the President!!!
BUT then my mind started swimming with all of the wonderful things to rag on about polar bears.
Everyone thinks they're so cute and cuddly and adorable and we need to save them and bla bla BLA. Wellllllll let me explain some-ting to ju.
Polar bears are vicious. They are not the cute little fluffy things you imagine petting and riding on. Or like that dumb movie The Compass or whatever. You don't ride them! They'll bite your face off the moment they can!
Out of all bears the polar bear is the most fierce and dangerous.
And then there's all this crap about global warming killing polar bears ...
:'( boo hoo hoo.
If they're stupid enough to get stuck on a little ice cube instead of going inland with the rest of the ice, then it's lack of evolution that's killing them. IF global warming were even real... WHICH IT'S NOT. If the earth is getting warmer someone needs to inform my toes because they're CONSTANTLY freezing. And try feeding the global warming crap to Alaskans. They'll laugh in your face before dumping you in the snow outside their window. Global warming my butt.
But if its not global warming, PETA will think of some other cause for the "dissappearance" of polar bears... (whatever).
You know what I think it is?
All the Coca-Cola they apparently drink/
That stuff can't possibly be good for animals can it??
I think we should steal it back.
Although.... just on the shot that MAYBE global warming is killing them and taking their homes... we really shouldn't be working so hard to stop it because when the ice melts, the bottles of deliciousness fall into the ocean and eventually make their way to the shores of Africa and refresh the poor orphans!
gasp!!
PETA's attempts at saving the polar bears and stopping global warming isn't for the bears! It's to save the Coca-Cola for themselves!! I knew I didn't like them...
Welp.
We know where the bears are going...
PETA is secretly killing them for their Cola and eating them...
Yikes!
People for the Eating of Tasty Animals....
So true...
hm... who knew a rant about fuzzy fluffballs could unlock an international scheme!! :O
on a side note....
MY POPCORN IS AMAZZZZING.
not that I'm bragging....
I'm sleepy... and I'm in the middle of a crisis...
There's nothin' like dealin' with creepers! woot.
Ta-ta sillies!
And thanks to Caleb for helping to uncover the Polar bear murder ring! Call the President!!!
Haters will.... help?
I think we can all agree that haters are a pain in the butt and probably deserve to have a yardstick shoved where the sun don't shine.
But it's weird. I'm not sure why but during my random wonderings of today, I came across a thought that was shocking to my senses. Haters are actually good for something! Oh my lanta call the press.
There are some things in life for which you simply posses drive, passion, zeal, etc. And that's great! Pursue them! But sometimes even the things we love can seem droll, pointless, aggravating, like you've hit the wall, it's the end of the road. You know. But even with these feelings, sometimes it just takes one, mentally dense person to question this once-passion for the intensity and love to instantly flare up again and motivate you to continue in pursuit of your dream. And even while still clinging onto your love for said object, grumpy words of the Negative Nelly in your life just fire you up all the more.
I never realized haters or pessimists actually could provide motivation and spirit to my goals. But they have. When anyone questions my passion and love for music, my plans to pursue it until there is nowhere farther to pursue it, I become fired up and protective; determined to prove them wrong; that I can do what I set out to do; that I can be good enough.
Weird...
Anyway :)
I should be sleeping but I have important things to accomplish! Like reading my teen drama book. (I have a feeling she gets the prince in this one too ;) ) and I have ice cream that is in dire need of being devoured. So until whenever sillies! :)
<3
But it's weird. I'm not sure why but during my random wonderings of today, I came across a thought that was shocking to my senses. Haters are actually good for something! Oh my lanta call the press.
There are some things in life for which you simply posses drive, passion, zeal, etc. And that's great! Pursue them! But sometimes even the things we love can seem droll, pointless, aggravating, like you've hit the wall, it's the end of the road. You know. But even with these feelings, sometimes it just takes one, mentally dense person to question this once-passion for the intensity and love to instantly flare up again and motivate you to continue in pursuit of your dream. And even while still clinging onto your love for said object, grumpy words of the Negative Nelly in your life just fire you up all the more.
I never realized haters or pessimists actually could provide motivation and spirit to my goals. But they have. When anyone questions my passion and love for music, my plans to pursue it until there is nowhere farther to pursue it, I become fired up and protective; determined to prove them wrong; that I can do what I set out to do; that I can be good enough.
Weird...
Anyway :)
I should be sleeping but I have important things to accomplish! Like reading my teen drama book. (I have a feeling she gets the prince in this one too ;) ) and I have ice cream that is in dire need of being devoured. So until whenever sillies! :)
<3
Friday, January 6, 2012
Update:
Horses usually scare me. I'm pretty bold so I suck it up and march on but Midnight, Caleb's horse, is now officially my favorite animal on the planet. :) (of course... I have a dog so that's probably temporary but....yeah)
He's sleek and black with a white star on his forehead. Black Beauty, Arabian Nights (knights?)
He belongs in a movie.
He's so proud too. The way he holds his head high and prances around with his tail in the air like he's the Prince of Persia himself. Have you seen the movie Spirit? Yeah he's Spirit, only in black.
He's all they said he was; proud, impulsive, does his own thing and doesn't listen very well, a little bit antsy and hyper.
With a slight nervousness around horses you'd think he'd be the one to scare me or worry me.
NOPE.
Maybe our personalities are just so alike, (headstrong and determined to have our own way,) we got on quite well.
I think I'm going to steal him.. :)
And ride away on the beach into the sunset. When I find a beach. And a sunset that's good enough.
It's gonna happen.
Anyway.
I need a job....
One that actually has hours....
I like my job now but I have bills to pay and I can't pay them if there aren't enough hours for me to work...
Meh.
I'm quite thrilled for Monday. All day movie marathon of all three Lord of the Rings movies (extended editions!). HECK. YES.
I'm a total nerd for those movies :)
And yes, I can quote most of them. :)
And with our whole class invited... there's absolutely no way this can be boring.
So basically these last few days until school, (otherwise known as self-imposed torture,) are going to rock. :)
Well kids. Anyone looking for an Audi TT?? Hit me up! Got one for sale! :)
And now its time to go blow stuff up. CoD has missed me.
Lataa!
He's sleek and black with a white star on his forehead. Black Beauty, Arabian Nights (knights?)
He belongs in a movie.
He's so proud too. The way he holds his head high and prances around with his tail in the air like he's the Prince of Persia himself. Have you seen the movie Spirit? Yeah he's Spirit, only in black.
He's all they said he was; proud, impulsive, does his own thing and doesn't listen very well, a little bit antsy and hyper.
With a slight nervousness around horses you'd think he'd be the one to scare me or worry me.
NOPE.
Maybe our personalities are just so alike, (headstrong and determined to have our own way,) we got on quite well.
I think I'm going to steal him.. :)
And ride away on the beach into the sunset. When I find a beach. And a sunset that's good enough.
It's gonna happen.
Anyway.
I need a job....
One that actually has hours....
I like my job now but I have bills to pay and I can't pay them if there aren't enough hours for me to work...
Meh.
I'm quite thrilled for Monday. All day movie marathon of all three Lord of the Rings movies (extended editions!). HECK. YES.
I'm a total nerd for those movies :)
And yes, I can quote most of them. :)
And with our whole class invited... there's absolutely no way this can be boring.
So basically these last few days until school, (otherwise known as self-imposed torture,) are going to rock. :)
Well kids. Anyone looking for an Audi TT?? Hit me up! Got one for sale! :)
And now its time to go blow stuff up. CoD has missed me.
Lataa!
Hmm
So I'm usually tired by 1 am...
Not last night.
I went to bed at 4.
And what do you know. I forgot to write my mother an insurance check so she wakes me up at 6:45 am. -.- I'm surprised I was actually coherent enough to write her check.
I went back to bed for a few hours
Technically I slept as long as I would on a school night so I shouldn't be this tired but I supposed I spoiled my body with lots of sleep over break. Going back to school should be fun...not.
On the bright side, however, I'm going horseback riding today! My buddy/ fiancée (its a joke, don't freak out...) has two horses and we (I) decided that as my late birthday present he's taking me riding. Selfish? Maybe... Worth it? Definitely :)
AND I have to go look for jobs today... yeaaaaah....
Well I don't want to scare the horses looking like the Grim Reaper so I'm off.
Bya kiddies! <3
Not last night.
I went to bed at 4.
And what do you know. I forgot to write my mother an insurance check so she wakes me up at 6:45 am. -.- I'm surprised I was actually coherent enough to write her check.
I went back to bed for a few hours
Technically I slept as long as I would on a school night so I shouldn't be this tired but I supposed I spoiled my body with lots of sleep over break. Going back to school should be fun...not.
On the bright side, however, I'm going horseback riding today! My buddy/ fiancée (its a joke, don't freak out...) has two horses and we (I) decided that as my late birthday present he's taking me riding. Selfish? Maybe... Worth it? Definitely :)
AND I have to go look for jobs today... yeaaaaah....
Well I don't want to scare the horses looking like the Grim Reaper so I'm off.
Bya kiddies! <3
Thursday, January 5, 2012
"Fairytales" My Song
"Once upon a time"
that's how the stories start
sadly none are true
lying has become an art
We tell our little girls
to expect that someday soon
their lives will fall together
with a magic prince and honeymoon
But they'll spend those years just waitin'
as waiting turns to tears
they begin to see all those lies
in the stories from all those years
Chorus:
Well wake up honey
you're in the real world now
no pumpkin coach waiting
no magic prince or ball gown
No one calls you "princess"
you're treated like the slave
and though you have the cruel stepmother
no prince is comin' your way
So you learn to toughen up
to face the world alone
no Prince Charming to the rescue
it's just you, you're on your own
What's the point to fairytales
if all they are is lies?
why even dare to dream
just to watch hope die?
Might as well just
toughen up now
before you're disappointed
before reality lets you down
Straighten up little soldier
Cinderella's gone
you're all grown up now
and you're expected to move on
What, did you believe them
when they said how beautiful you are?
are they really seeing you
or the makeup covering your scars?
chorus
You might be beautiful
but no one ever sees
because fake lips and makeup
are all the world believes
See and in the fairytales
the nice girl gets the prince
but this is reality, sweetheart
being nice don't make a difference
chorus
that's how the stories start
sadly none are true
lying has become an art
We tell our little girls
to expect that someday soon
their lives will fall together
with a magic prince and honeymoon
But they'll spend those years just waitin'
as waiting turns to tears
they begin to see all those lies
in the stories from all those years
Chorus:
Well wake up honey
you're in the real world now
no pumpkin coach waiting
no magic prince or ball gown
No one calls you "princess"
you're treated like the slave
and though you have the cruel stepmother
no prince is comin' your way
So you learn to toughen up
to face the world alone
no Prince Charming to the rescue
it's just you, you're on your own
What's the point to fairytales
if all they are is lies?
why even dare to dream
just to watch hope die?
Might as well just
toughen up now
before you're disappointed
before reality lets you down
Straighten up little soldier
Cinderella's gone
you're all grown up now
and you're expected to move on
What, did you believe them
when they said how beautiful you are?
are they really seeing you
or the makeup covering your scars?
chorus
You might be beautiful
but no one ever sees
because fake lips and makeup
are all the world believes
See and in the fairytales
the nice girl gets the prince
but this is reality, sweetheart
being nice don't make a difference
chorus
Blogging....
Truth be told, I've never even thought about blogging before. I always considered it a little nerdy and not really my style. But I decided that I love to write, I'm pretty honest about my opinions and I'm easily bored so this could be interesting. Why not.
So I think my first blog-rant is going to have to be takin' a dig at society and all the princess-y crap it feeds girls today. Every little girl grows up reading princess stories, watching princess movies, being told that "If you only follow your heart," your life will turn out absolutely perfect, you'll eventually capture the heart of your Prince Charming and you'll never have to worry your pretty little head ever again. Beauty is what the world revolves around. Ironically, society is obsessed with "natural beauties" but no one appreciates natural beauty! Even the photos of models who are supposed to look "natural" are smothered in makeup, slow roasted with anorexia, and contain dash of photo-shop. Yummy.
Have you ever noticed that in every book that claims to be realistic, the girl still gets the guy? Have you also happened to notice that in real life, that accomplishment is quite rare? I'm a bookworm, a once daydreamer/ hopeless romantic, and now an observant realist, and I have taken note of these things. I recently read a book called "If I Have the Ugly Stepmother, Where's My Prince Charming?" and I thought, "Great. A realistic book about life as it is; where the plain girl actually doesn't have the perfect life and a book that's not shoving unrealistic dreams into your head." I jooke :) She got her Prince Charming in the end too. I won't lie, it was a fantastic ending and left me warm and fuzzy inside with the expectations that one day my life would achieve perfection as well. Then I got confused. "Wait... I thought this was supposed to be realistic? I mean great, yeah that works for some people but what about the majority of the population who don't have their lives in order, whose lives aren't swimming in perfection and who don't reach their 'Happily Ever After' at the ripe old age of 15?"
Everyone loves to believe in fairytales. I'd love to. But that's just not life. There are small fairytales scattered throughout our days but in a world of hate and suffering, there's no way for them to last. Just a thought.
I recently wrote a song about this exact topic. I'll post it later. It most definitely is NOT one of my greater works. But yeah:)
So I think my first blog-rant is going to have to be takin' a dig at society and all the princess-y crap it feeds girls today. Every little girl grows up reading princess stories, watching princess movies, being told that "If you only follow your heart," your life will turn out absolutely perfect, you'll eventually capture the heart of your Prince Charming and you'll never have to worry your pretty little head ever again. Beauty is what the world revolves around. Ironically, society is obsessed with "natural beauties" but no one appreciates natural beauty! Even the photos of models who are supposed to look "natural" are smothered in makeup, slow roasted with anorexia, and contain dash of photo-shop. Yummy.
Have you ever noticed that in every book that claims to be realistic, the girl still gets the guy? Have you also happened to notice that in real life, that accomplishment is quite rare? I'm a bookworm, a once daydreamer/ hopeless romantic, and now an observant realist, and I have taken note of these things. I recently read a book called "If I Have the Ugly Stepmother, Where's My Prince Charming?" and I thought, "Great. A realistic book about life as it is; where the plain girl actually doesn't have the perfect life and a book that's not shoving unrealistic dreams into your head." I jooke :) She got her Prince Charming in the end too. I won't lie, it was a fantastic ending and left me warm and fuzzy inside with the expectations that one day my life would achieve perfection as well. Then I got confused. "Wait... I thought this was supposed to be realistic? I mean great, yeah that works for some people but what about the majority of the population who don't have their lives in order, whose lives aren't swimming in perfection and who don't reach their 'Happily Ever After' at the ripe old age of 15?"
Everyone loves to believe in fairytales. I'd love to. But that's just not life. There are small fairytales scattered throughout our days but in a world of hate and suffering, there's no way for them to last. Just a thought.
I recently wrote a song about this exact topic. I'll post it later. It most definitely is NOT one of my greater works. But yeah:)
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