Love Bought at a Price...

Hmmm... Should I be sleeping?... Probably... Am I gonna?.... Naaaaaww :)

So this blog is going to focus mostly on buying love...

Why do i feel the need to purchase love, appreciation, affection?  Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of the time that I buy things for people, its because I care, because I want to.  But I'm beginning to wonder if sometimes this doesn't stem from a desire within to be valued, loved, admired, appreciated.  Giving/buying things for people is my love language.  (A large part of it, anyway.) When I buy something for someone they're always (ok, not always) so grateful and appreciative and they talk to me more and it just creates a bond.  I must ask myself, however, if that bond is genuine or if it is simply held together by little sheets of green paper.  (Yes, I'm aware that money is not actually paper).
I don't just give money, however.  There are other things you can give, such as time, energy, etc.
I love to be the person that everyone can go to when they need something.  Despite this, I do not want to be the girl who's trampled over and used because she is too naive to see that she is only being used and taken advantage of.  I want people to know that I care and that I want to help them.  I want to know that they care about me too.  But where does one draw the line between healthy giving and feeling the need to give in order to be accepted and loved?  Sometimes when you're nose-to-nose with a painting, (or situation) all you can see is dark globs of paint that don't appear to have any order or structure.  So how do you stand back from your own life to examine such invisible and illusive issues as your emotions or motives?
You might seek an outside source such as a trusted friend, who knows you well.  Even these,however, might not always know what truly lies in the unspoken, uninterrupted depths of your subconscious. (K is it just me or did that sound AWESOME...)
I think the best thing to do is just to realize that people who love you for money, gifts, what you do for them all the time, ... they aren't worth it.  No matter how much time, energy, love you invest in them, they're still the same. 
Don't fall for the temptation to waste your time on them.  It will only end in pain and regret. 
Be yourself, do what makes you happy (within reason...obviously...)  and be with who makes you smile.
<3

Oh.  And on a side note.
Well.
I guess it's more like a.. an end note?
Foot note?

...
Ok.
How about: on another note.

Imagination.
It can be your greatest tool, or your ultimate downfall. 
If you let your imagination run wild, it will control you.  You must learn to control your own mind or it will run your life. 

Using imagination can bring about greatness, success, etc. 

But if you let it control you, you'll never achieve the level of success you could have had.  You'll spend your life in fear, anger, angst, whatever your mind chooses. 

For those of you who know what I'm talking about, well. This is probably for you.

You might think that you have no control but I promise that you do.  It will be a challenge and requires time and hard work.  But your mind is YOUR mind and you CAN control it. 

Anyway... I'm starving and exhausted..
SOO lataa kiddies.
:)